Do you ever walk around your streets or hang out with friends and family and wonder how some people are simply so likeable? You might love them or hate them yourself, but do you ever wish that you had that level of confidence?
Well, contrary to popular belief, nobody is born with charisma, it’s something that is learned. By boosting your charisma, you will automatically become more magnetic to other people. You’ll come across as being more trustworthy, more loyal, more persuasive and therefore enabling you to build deeper and stronger relationships with the people in your life.
Today, we’re going to explore four actionable steps you can take in order to train your mind to enhance your levels charisma, helping you to become the person you want to be in the life that you want to live.
1. Develop a Presence
Presence is considered the most important and essential aspect that contributes to charisma. If you’ve ever been in the surrounding area of someone that has a ‘presence’, you’ll know exactly what I mean when you feel drawn to that person, and you feel as though you can talk to them about anything.
In addition to this, being ‘present’ is also vital to charisma. Being in the present moment means that the person you’re talking to has your full attention, and your mind isn’t off wandering on what you’re doing at the weekend or what you’re having for dinner that night.
Being present and actually listening to what the other person in front of you has to say is a great way to build relationships with people as well as expanding your own horizons and knowledge. By being ‘present, you’ll create your own ‘presence’. However, it’s vital that you find balance as having too much ‘presence’ can lead to large and unwanted amounts of ego.
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively
2. Build Your Confidence
Of course, the second most important aspect when it comes to charisma is confidence. However, this is also considered one of the most difficult traits to build. The less confidence you have, the less charismatic you’ll be. In comparison, too much charisma and you’ll be perceived as arrogant.
However, at its core, confidence is all about how you feel in your own skin. By eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly and wearing the clothes that you want to wear can all contribute to how you feel about yourself. The more comfortable you feel, the more confident you’ll be.
3. Speak Truth to BS
Nowadays, thanks to platforms such as social media and the incessant drive to know everything about everything, false truths are evident in our everyday lives. However, even if we’re the ones lying or over-exaggerating a story, we can tell the other person doesn’t believe it, but it carries on anyway.
If you’ve ever been BS’d to, you’ll know how it feels when you know it to be false. However, a crucial aspect of charisma is admitting when you don’t know something in order to progress a conversation. Showing curiosity in what somebody is saying to you, listening to what they have to say and not giving the impression that you know everything about everything is one of the best ways to show your charisma.
More often than not, especially with how society is these days, acting in this way will surprise the people you’re talking to. If someone is speaking BS to you, although it can be an extremely hard conversation to have, speaking truth to them, i.e. calling them out on it, can help you build deeper relationships with these people which is an extremely charismatic thing to do.
You don’t have to be rude about it. If you’re talking about a political debate and someone quotes a figure, simply ask them where they heard or read that fact for proof. This level of curiosity allows you to drop the ‘defensive guard’ you would normally have up when BSing yourself and allows you to feel like you’re yourself when around other people. Live with purpose.
“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey
4. Master the Art of Conversation
In short, any charismatic person knows how to have and hold a conversation. They can start a conversation with anybody, steer it in any direction and, most importantly, can make the other people in the conversation feel comfortable.
These are the basic guidelines for having a proper conversation, and it can take practice if you don’t possess it already. However, it’s not impossible. If talking to a complete stranger scares the hell out of you, the only thing to do is bite the bullet and jump straight in. Once you realise you’ve got nothing to lose and can only gain conversational experience which will improve instantly, you’ll be able to get better and better over time until you master the art completely.
Of course, the best way to start a conversation is by being nice, rather than trying to overwhelm the other person with information or showing off, mentioned above. Avoid awkward silences, make eye contact, and you’ll see the rewards instantly in every conversation you have.