Here’s How To Be More Chilled Out: Get More Sleep.

Posted from https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/heres-how-to-be-more-chilled-out-get-more-sleep/

If you study productivity and write about it a lot as I do, people assume you must work 18 hour days every day.

I don’t work 18 hour days. I’m human. I’m normal.

Amongst my successful friends who have started businesses and made some serious cashola, they actually do the opposite.

They’re focused.

And they get a good night’s sleep.

Arianna Huffington has recently brought to light how important sleep is and what you can do to increase the quality of it. She preaches turning your phone off a few hours before bed and the art of blackening out all natural light from entering your bedroom.

She also advises gradually winding down the day with activities that are good to do before bed like reading.

The image I’m presenting here though is the opposite of what you see on social media with the “Hustle until your dead” picture quotes and entrepreneurs telling you to work your face off (what does that even mean?).

Somehow, we’ve fallen for the myth that minutes spent on a task equals the result. That’s total BS though. I sit next to people in an office every day that look like they are working their butts off, but when you actually look at what they’re doing, they’re making the following mistakes:

– Being taken over by small talk and distractions
– Trying to do too many things an executing on nothing
– Trying to look busy as if someone actually cares
– Doing things the old way rather than innovating and finding a faster way

 

My sleep story.

I won’t bore the pants off you. I felt tired and went to the doctor. I tried everything until someone said, “Tim how many hours do you sleep?”

I had to think about it and then I said “6-7 hours a night.”

That sounded like the average and like it should be plenty. What I didn’t realize was that it comes down to the quality of sleep and the number of hours is often different for each of us.

I cranked up the hours of sleep to eight and ever since I’ve felt heaps better. I’m now more focused and I don’t wake up yawning a lot in the morning.

Blacking out my windows and changing my pillow to a bamboo foam one also helped.

Here’s some things I learned about sleeping along the way:

 

1. It’s about discipline.

We can all go to bed an hour earlier and experiment with a bit more sleep. You have to make it a must (just like your goals) to execute and get the results. That takes discipline.

“Once you see the benefits through sleeping enough, you should be able to develop the willpower to go to bed earlier and stop working, or watching your TV that will never make you successful”

Sleeping is a decision and it will help you in the long term.

 

2. Napping helps too.

That might sound completely ridiculous but it really does help. I’m lucky enough to have nap chairs at the office I work in. On a particular day, if I feel extra tired and find myself getting pissed off easily, I go and have a 15-minute nap at lunchtime. Sometimes I do meditation instead – depends on how I feel.

 

3. Young adults need this advice the most.

Many interns and young adults who are in the first few years of their career need this advice the most.

“There’s this myth that if you get good grades and work longer than everybody else, you’ll climb to the top of the ladder and be successful. This concept is completely wrong”

Good grades mean you can recite other people’s information from a book. Whether you can think, make decisions, be creative and add value to the business world has nothing to do with fact’s and ideas you’ve memorized.

Also, take note of the senior leaders – I have. They typically roll into the office last and are the first ones to leave between 3-4pm. They’re not lazy; they’re just adding value which is the only measure of business success.

You’ll never be asked in a job interview to provide a timesheet of how many hours you worked or to brag about working late. In fact, if you mention that you work long hours, the HR team will think there’s something wrong with you and that you can’t manage time.

 

4. The mind must be chilled to work in your favor.

A rested mind makes better decisions and is less stressed.
A mind that is tired gets angry easily, makes poor decisions and has no focus.

There’s nothing better than having the empty space and efficiency of a mind that has been adequately rested like a well-rested steak, in an overnight marinade that’s just been placed on the BBQ (I’m Aussie so excuse the barby analogy). Okay, I’m Vego too, so that’s enough of that!

 

Bonus: My single best productivity hack.

This one won’t surprise you at all: Wake up early. After a good night’s sleep, waking up early allows you to spend those first few hours when your energy levels are high, on the one or two goals that are most important to you.

I find I’m more chilled when I spend the first few hours of my day being productive and working on my passion (blogging). It means for the rest of the day, I’m chilled because I know I’ve achieved at least one thing. Anything I achieve after the early morning is a bonus.

Not a bad way to live your days out don’t you think?

“My biggest enemy is distractions and the only time I seem to avoid them is early in the morning”

At 5 am, there’s no one emailing me, ringing my phone or telling me to clean up mess.

The thing is that I can only wake up early if I go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep. Getting more sleep is the antidote to waking up early if that’s something you struggle with.

There’s no point waking up early though if you’re tired because you won’t be productive. You’ll fumble around and procrastinate rather than working on your goals.

 

***Closing Thought***

Try getting more sleep for yourself. Don’t pretend you like being tired every day because deep down you know it’s sabotaging your success and making you lazy. The ancient art of sleeping more is back in fashion and the time is now to take advantage of it.

Instead of “Hustle till you die,” try this new mantra: “Execute with energy.”

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

One Great Question is Worth More Than a Hundred Answers

Posted from http://www.lifehack.org/654223/one-great-question-is-worth-more-than-a-hundred-answers?ref=rss

A great question can change the world. Questions like the one Einstein asked himself, “What would you see if you were traveling on a beam of light?” In The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future, Kevin Kelly writes, “Questioning is more powerful than answering.” He discusses how the technologies that generate questions will be more valued in the future than the technologies that generate answers. He comments,

“At the end of the day, a world of super smart ubiquitous answers encourage a quest for the perfect question. What makes a perfect question? Ironically, the best questions are not questions that lead to answers, because answers are on their way to becoming cheap and plentiful. A good question is worth a million good answers.”

I wholeheartedly agree with Kelly. So, what makes a great question? Let’s look at a list from Kelly.

Good questions are not concerned with a correct answer

For each discussion, I created metaphors to further our understanding of what makes a good question.

Metaphor: Answers are buried deep within our mind. While we might not find the right answer we are looking for, we will find better questions the deeper we dig.

Metaphor: Our mind is like a large building with a long winding corridor, where the corridor is like a series of questions within our mind. Each room along the corridor serves as a gap between our thoughts and questions. Where each room possesses either an answer or another question.

A good question cannot be answered immediately

“Over time, the cloud, the machine, or AI will learn to articulate what is known and not known. While the answer machine can expand answers infinitely, our time to form the next question is very limited.” – Kevin Kelly

Metaphor: Unknown answers are like trees planted in our mind, where ideas are the branches and questions are the seeds of growth. The better the seed, the increased likelihood of ideas branching off one another.

Metaphor: Just as trees require time for growth, so do great questions. Yet, you must first plant the seed.

A good question challenges existing answers

Metaphor: A great question is like a rock, where existing answers are like a glass window. Innovation and new answers emerge by shattering the glass window with a rock.

Metaphor: An existing answer is like religion, where a great question is challenging the existing answer. We must challenge our current view of religion in order to seek an undivided answer.

A good question is one you badly want answered after you hear it, yet previously did not care

Metaphor: A great question is like following a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, where the question is the hole itself. You had no previous awareness of the existence of the hole, yet the further you fall, the greater your desire for an answer.

Metaphor: Imagine seeing a door all your life, yet you have never opened the door because it lacked a door knob. A great question is like a door knob appearing out of thin air. By opening the door, you are made aware of an entirely new reality. You notice yet another door as you walk through it. However, it also lacks a door knob.

A good question is a probe, a what-if scenario

Metaphor: Life is like space, where we do not know exactly what is out there. Probing what-if questions are like a shuttle that carries us further into the unknown.

Metaphor: A great question is like an ocean. An ocean has a deepest part. Therefore, a question has a deepest part.

A good question is one that generates many other good questions

Metaphor: A great question is like a library full of books, where each book leads to even more great questions.

Metaphor: A great question is like the number Pi. Where Pi cannot be expressed as a common fraction (or an answer). Just as the digits of Pi can go on and on with no pattern, questions can generate a never-ending series of new questions.

A good question cannot be predicted

Metaphor: We cannot predict great questions. Just as Google cannot predict exactly what you will be doing, thinking, and feeling twenty years from now.

Metaphor: Just as we cannot predict our next thought by asking what our next thought will be – we cannot predict great questions. If we could, they would be an answer, not a question.

A good question will be the sign of an educated mind

Metaphor: A fish swimming in clear water is like the mind of a child, where the clear water is like great questions uncluttered by answers. The mind of a child is like an educated mind.

Metaphor: A fish swimming in dirty water is like the mind of an adult, where the dirty water is like previous answers preventing questions from being asked. The adult mind is like an uneducated mind – a mind with the perception that it has all the answers.

A good question reframes its own answers

Metaphor: A great question is like the birth of a child. The birth does not reveal an answer, yet it does reveal something better… more fascinating questions.

Metaphor: A great question is like the pause between musical notes.

A good question might be the last job a machine will learn to do

“A good question is what humans are for.” – Kevin Kelly

Instead of using a metaphor here, let’s discuss a book by Douglas Adams called The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. To prevent massive spoilers, I will only use an example from Adams first book in the series.

In the book, the number 42 is revealed to be the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything calculated by a gigantic supercomputer named Deep Thought. The answer was generated over a period of 7.5 million years to compute and check the answer. The computer responded that the answer seemed meaningless because the beings who instructed it never knew what the question was. The same beings then asked Deep Thought to produce the ultimate question, for which the supercomputer said it could not. However, Deep Thought said it would help design an even more powerful computer that can.

Finally, let me leave you with one last question. This is my great question and it fascinates me.

“What would you see if you could shine a light on the gap between your thoughts?” – Dr. Jamie Schwandt

Featured photo credit: unsplash via unsplash.com

The post One Great Question is Worth More Than a Hundred Answers appeared first on Lifehack.

Want a Better Life? Make Better Investments

Posted from https://addicted2success.com/life/want-a-better-life-make-better-investments/

What are you really good at? I mean, really good at. How did you find out you were good? Did someone tell you at an early age? Did you have some natural talent that presented itself early on? Were you recognized for an award or an achievement that set you apart from the rest of your friends?

Chances are, even if you don’t think you’re particularly that good at anything, there has always been something that you’ve done just a little bit better than those around you. No matter what it was, you knew you could perform above and beyond expectations, and this translated into confidence and self-assurance.

But what happened when things didn’t go according to plan? If you grew up being told you were exceedingly good at one thing or another, the chances are that as soon as you got out into the real world, you were thrown for a huge loop. Nobody makes every single basket. Nobody hits a home run every time they come up to bat. Nobody writes a best-selling book every time they publish.

We live in a world of 7 billion + people. Like it or not, there will ALWAYS be someone (or lots of people) better than you at any number of things. I’m embarrassed to say I grew up with a fixed mindset. Despite being told that I could change and learn and accomplish anything I set my mind to, I often subconsciously felt that there were certain things I was ‘meant’ to do. I was better than my friends at certain things like writing or running or building Legos. I was a natural, and I didn’t have to try to beat out the competition.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw

But once I got out into the world I realized that I wasn’t as good as I thought, that my ideas weren’t all that unique, and that I wasn’t going to make as big an impact as I had dreamed. It seems a lot easier to change the world when you don’t grasp how big a place it is.

This realization taught me an important lesson about personal development. Over the years I’ve come to realize that the things worth being good at take regular practice and concentration. Last year on January 1, I made a promise to myself to invest 5% of my income in personal development and training.

I made the decision after I realized that I was spending my money unwisely. I would go out for drinks too many nights a week. I would eat out regularly. I would take Uber when I should walk or take the bus. The money just slipped away from me, and I wasn’t tracking it or paying attention to how it was effectively being thrown down the drain.

Here are 5 ways I chose to invest in myself which have already started to pay big dividends:

1. I bought books

In 2017, I read or listened to (I’m a huge fan of Audible) 46 books. About 75% of these books were non-fiction business or history book, while the other 25% were fiction books and novels. I have found that this investment, more than any of the others on this list, has helped me expand my thinking and my ability to synthesize complex ideas and theories.

2. I joined a gym

I actually enjoy going to the gym, but for the last several years I have avoided joining one because of high fees, exorbitant surcharges, and bizarre cancellation policies. To get exercise, I would instead go for runs around town, often along crowded streets and through busy traffic. While I still enjoy going on city runs, I finally decided to join a local gym with a pool for around $30 a month. Swimming regularly has been one of the highlights of my year, and it has transformed how I think about maintaining a fit lifestyle.

3. I got surgery

Since I was 6 years old, I wore a set of extremely nerdy looking glasses. My vision was not horrible, but I definitely required glasses to drive or to read signs more than 10 feet away. So, I got laser eye surgery. This investment changed my life and has been one of the best experiences in the last year. The recovery time was less than 48 hours, and I now have better than 20/20 vision. On top of that, the money I spent on the surgery will be paid back in a matter of a few years (based on what I would have been spending on contact lens and glasses prescriptions).

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. I went back to school

No, I didn’t go back to school to get my Master’s degree. Yes, I looked for only e-learning courses in topics I was interested in which I thought would benefit me in my career. I signed up for several courses through Udemy and Coursera, and I’ve managed to dedicate several hours a month towards expanding my knowledge in areas around entrepreneurship and technology.

5. I bet on myself

I spent money on myself by building a website. Though it’s not profitable yet, I feel that this hands on knowledge and training I’ve gathered will help me learn more in a shorter period of time than nearly any other form of training in a classroom.

How you decide to spend your time and your money is up to you, but by being mindful about your decision making process will you be able to get the most return on your investment.  

How are you investing in yourself today? Comment below!

This is How You Can Save Yourself From Feeling Sorry For What You Did

Posted from http://www.lifehack.org/656558/this-is-how-you-can-save-yourself-from-feeling-sorry-for-what-you-did?ref=rss

You are what you do. If you long for good health, make the decision that leads you to good health, and if you long for fortune and happy life, do what takes you to your dreams. The future us is built by the actions we do today and the decisions we make at this moment.

The post This is How You Can Save Yourself From Feeling Sorry For What You Did appeared first on Lifehack.

51 Incredible Andy Frisella Quotes

Posted from https://addicted2success.com/quotes/51-incredible-andy-frisella-quotes/

Andy Frisella is a serial entrepreneur, motivator, and host of the hugely successful MFCEO podcast where he has interviewed legends such as Gary Vaynerchuk and Lewis Howes. Andy got his start 17 years ago with a small supplement distribution company. Since then it has grown into a $100 million per year business. Andy has certainly had to endure a lot on his journey to success. Along the way, he has picked up wisdom far beyond the years of anyone else.

Here are some of his best quotes:

1. “Lots of people wanting everything and doing nothing.” – Andy Frisella

2. “99% of people let others opinions and beliefs keep them from ever living the life they want.” – Andy Frisella

3. “This is about legacy. This is about service. This is about giving far more than you take. This is about inspiring the warrior attitude and taking responsibility for your life. This is about picking eachother up.” – Andy Frisella

4. “There are no super-humans, just humans, and what one man can do, another can do.” – Andy Frisella

5. “Your mind & focus are far more powerful than you could ever comprehend.” – Andy Frisella

6. “Quit feeling sorry for yourself, make shit happen.” – Andy Frisella

7. “Instead of thinking how hard your journey is, think how great your story will be.” – Andy Frisella

8. “You are where you are because of you.” – Andy Frisella

9. “Live for the weekends and that’s all you’ll ever have.” – Andy Frisella

10. “Yes, finding success is going to require you to make sacrifices and be uncomfortable.” – Andy Frisella

11. “When you say ‘no’ most of the time you are saying ‘yes’ to the progression of yourself and those around you” – Andy Frisella

12. “What you’re doing in the short term to make yourself comfortable is killing your potential.” – Andy Frisella

13. “There’s a lot of healthy shit that comes from believing in yourself.” – Andy Frisella

14. “If you don’t believe youre the shit, nobody else will either.” – Andy Frisella

15. “History forgets whiners, but remembers winners.” – Andy Frisella

16. “Easy never pays well.” – Andy Frisella

17. “Make sure the people who bet against you lose.” – Andy Frisella

18. “Being a leader who lets shit slide, isn’t being a leader at all.” – Andy Frisella

19. “It’s not luck, it’s not magic, it’s not circumstances. It’s developing a great plan and executing on it, day in and day out until the visions in your head become your reality.” – Andy Frisella

20. “Accepting responsibility even when it’s not your fault and fixing the problem; you will have unlimited income potential in your life.” – Andy Frisella

21. “There’s something you’re good at, you’re just not putting value on it.” – Andy Frisella

22. “‘I deserve’ is the most whiny, cry baby phrase in the english language.” – Andy Frisella

23. “There is no ‘what it’, if you do the work on a worth plan the result will be there.” – Andy Frisella

24. “If you do the work and you make a plan it will f*cking happen.” – Andy Frisella

25. “You don’t have to define yourself by one kind of life…you can live in any world you want.” – Andy Frisella

Check out these epic quotes from Elliott Hulse

26. “Real success is not defined by what you accomplish It is defined by how you are helping others accomplish.” – Andy Frisella

27. “Don’t let the constant pursuit of and drive for success keep you from appreciating and being grateful for what you have now.” – Andy Frisella

28. “Dream so big everyone thinks you’re crazy, no matter what they think about it. The only person that limits you stares back at you in the mirror every single day.” – Andy Frisella

29. “Nothing great is given, it’s earned.” – Andy Frisella

30. “What you think about, dream about, talk about and focus on will become your life.” – Andy Frisella

31. “Nobody who you wanna be floats through the day.” – Andy Frisella

32. “Don’t be an asshole to yourself.” – Andy Frisella

33. “You know why you are so far from where you want to be? Because you think too small…you do now and you always have.” – Andy Frisella

34. “The biggest mistake you can make in life is thinking you have all the time in the world.” – Andy Frisella

35. “You gotta do the work…and gotta produce a result.” – Andy Frisella

36. “Honest gratitude for what you have is one of the biggest accelerators for future success.” – Andy Frisella

37. “But at the end of the day, success is about resilience and grit.” – Andy Frisella

38. “Put your head down for the next 10 years and get yourself a Lamborghini or two…” – Andy Frisella

39. “Don’t even let that 2nd place shit tough your skin…losing is contagious.” – Andy Frisella

40. “Free your mind to dream huge. Free your heart to believe its possible.” – Andy Frisella

41. “Be brave enough to go after what you really want. Be strong enough to pick people up and bring them to you.” – Andy Frisella

42. “The only thing relevant to your success is your actions.” – Andy Frisella

43. “Everything you see, touch, or use in your daily life started as just a single thought.” – Andy Frisella

44. “You can’t cut down a tree with a single swing of an axe.” – Andy Frisella

45. “Don’t worry about the people who aren’t happy for you. Guaranteed they are miserable f*cks anyway.” – Andy Frisella

46. “The problem with society is nobody drinks from the skulls of their enemies anymore.” – Andy Frisella

47. “Big dreams don’t cost any more than little ones.” – Andy Frisella

48. “All great things come with sacrifice.” – Andy Frisella

49. “Successful people all do one thing that you don’t do…they live with intent in every action that they take.” – Andy Frisella

50. “The reason people don’t succeed is because they don’t do the work.” – Andy Frisella

51. “Inside of every self-made man is a poor kid who followed his dreams.” – Andy Frisella

Which quote motivated you the most? Comment below!

The Importance of Your Welcome Email

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnChowDotCom/~3/hYOcPOWApRM/

Email marketing is widely accepted as the best way to get your message and brand across. Imagine what you can do with a list of 100,000 subscribers and how quickly you can promote new content published within seconds. However, before you get into a full-fledged email campaign, it’s important to understand the dynamics of what makes a high converting campaign. For example, you have to ensure you have the right landing page, follow-up sequence, call-to-actions, etc. I like to switch the order and start with a “Welcome Message” because this is where you can really showcase what the subscriber can expect to receive. The funny thing is, many people don’t pay close attention to the “Welcome Message” because they think it’s not important as the visitor has already subscribed. I’m here to tell you, as the “1st” initial email message, you can use this time to build a connection with the subscriber.

Let’s go over some important elements of a “Welcome Message”.

What Is It?

A “Welcome Message” is the first message sent in your email sequence, which is initiated when someone subscribes to your list. For example, when I land on your opt-in page and subscribe to your newsletter, then right away, I receive a confirmation message. I’ll confirm my subscription and would expect to receive a “Welcome Email”, telling me what I can expect. Many people make the mistake of NOT having an email after confirmation and this can hurt your overall connection with your reader. In short,

A “Welcome Message” is initiated right after someone confirms opting into a newsletter. It’s that simple!

It’s done right away to entice the subscriber by giving them a glimpse into what to expect from your blog.

It Sets Expectations

One of the biggest benefits of a welcome message is to reiterate the expectations. If someone opts into my newsletter, I can showcase what my blog is all about by going through the foundation of my blog. For example, I can tell them about my publishing frequency and what I write about. I can reiterate my case studies and the purpose of my blog. Finally, and most importantly, I can tell them about FREE products and services I’ll offer on my blog that I know will be vital to my subscriber’s success. I can promise you that if someone is serious about their online business and niche, then your welcome email can definitely help build loyalty.

This is a great way to divide your landing page and purpose of your blog. A landing page needs to be simple and having too much text can push the visitor from opting in. However, once they’ve opted in, you can use a “Welcome Email” to go into more detail about your blog. This is why it’s important to send one out right away so you can quickly let them know about elements you could not discuss during the landing page phase.

Deliverability

By letting the subscriber know EXACTLY what they can expect, they’ll be keen to open your email message. For example, if someone says they’ll be sending a discount coupon every week, then I’ll be more tempted to open each and every message. It’s a great way to increase open rates by building excitement about what’s to come in the near future. However, you have to be careful when enticing your visitors. Whatever is listed in your “Welcome Message” must be followed through because, if not, it’s a poor way to lose credibility in the industry. Your subscribers will NOT trust you going forward and this can be very harmful to your brand.

Going forward, you can set expectations and increase open rates by simply outlining the following:

Welcome to our blog and we’re happy you joined us” Here’s what you can expect in the next couple of days…

  • Number 1
  • Number 2
  • Number 3

Make sure your clear and you always give them EXACTLY what they are expecting to receive. Next, always check statistics over the next couple of weeks to check how open rates are doing. You want to ensure they stay steady or increase, but never fall because then you know there’s a problem. I think keeping an eye on statistics is very important in tweaking your campaign for success in the long run.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

Sometimes, Honesty Is Not The Best Policy

Posted from http://www.lifehack.org/657012/sometimes-honesty-is-not-the-best-policy-so-lets-go-ahead-and-lie?ref=rss

Liar, liar pants on fire. No one wants to get caught in a lie and appear to be dishonest or deceptive. But does telling a lie actually make you either of those things?

The truth is, there are some advantages to lying; and they aren’t always for self-gain. Sometimes people choose to lie to protect others and spare their feelings. Because let’s face it, the truth hurts.

Why do we even lie?

We all need to take a moment to be honest with ourselves and admit that we all lie. It is in our innate nature to deceive and sometimes protect.

Yes, we sometimes tell lies to cover up bad behavior, manipulate others, or rise to power and attain what we want.

But we also lie to spare the feelings of others, avoid unnecessary conflict, or to simply brighten up someone’s day.

Dishonesty is in our nature.

Researchers believe that the act of lying came into play after the development of language. It is the evolution of deceptive strategy, just as animals use camouflage to deceive their predators or prey.

In terms of efficiency, lying is the easiest way to rise to power and attain resources. If your enemy is larger and stronger than you, then physical force will not be very effective. But if you are able to outwit and manipulate your enemy; not only can you acquire their resources, but make them believe that it was their idea own idea.

How often do we lie?

This of course is relative to the individual. The frequency of lying was first documented by social psychologist Bella DePaulo.

She asked 147 individuals to record their blips of dishonesty throughout the day. On average, her subjects lied at least twice a day. The lies themselves were relatively harmless in nature; innocuous excuses for instances such as lateness. Or fibs that present a false image; saying that you ran 5 miles instead of the truthful 2.

We’ve been fibbing since we learned to talk.

In actuality, we are conditioned to lie at a young age. Didn’t your parents tell you to always thank your host for that “delicious” meal that you had to choke down? Social graces aside, it’s still a lie.

Children typically learn to lie between the ages of 2-5. Kang Lee, a psychologist from the University of Toronto studied children between the ages of 2-8 to gauge the kind of lies that children tell.

When children first begin to lie at the age of 2, it is an indication that they are starting to test out their independence. They lie simply to see what they can get away with.

By the age of 8, the children actually have the capacity of lying to spare the feelings of others. The results of the study actually found that these lies are motivated by empathy and compassion rather than deceit and manipulation.

Lying is a reflection of our goals.

Sometimes you don’t even need to open your mouth to tell a lie. A simple facial expression is enough to convey a mistruth.

Embellishments, exaggerations, these are the close counterparts to outright lies. But in this case, these lies are almost never malicious. But in fact, a projection of one’s aspirations.

In an experiment conducted by Robert Feldman, he questioned a number of students about their grades and efforts in school. Most of them were dishonest about their actual grades. But instead of becoming anxious as most people do amidst a lie, they became incredibly engaged and excited to boast about their achievements.

“We lie if honesty won’t work”- Tim Levine

Is there a difference between moral and immoral lying? If we’re being honest with ourselves, the answer is a resounding yes. Some lies are well intentioned- meant to protect those who are being lied to.

Lying has even been found to have psychological benefits for the liar. Those who are extremely honest with themselves are more prone to depression than those who are not. Overtly honest people are often construed as blunt, sometimes even pathological.

There are even interpersonal benefits to be gained from lying and knowing when it is okay to do so. In fact, if someone detects that you have lied to them to protect them, it could increase the trust that they have in you.

These well intentioned lies are known as pro-social lies.

Lying for the better good.

Pro-social lying involves four distinct constructs of human capacity: theory of mind, compassion, memory and imagination.

In this case, our choice to lie is a result of moral and emotional reasoning. We prioritize kindness over the importance of truth to spare other persons involved. As our brains develop, our moral reasoning progresses at the same rate as self-control as well as cognitive ability.

Further still, the most selfless of lies is known as a blue lie. These lies tend to be altruistic falsities that are actually told at the cost of the liar to protect someone else. In this case, we might subject ourselves to punishment for the wrongdoing of others.

Honestly, lying isn’t so bad.

What determines the magnitude of the lie is the intent behind it. Lies that are told to protect others can actually help to strengthen relationships. Other lies that are told to embellish ones image are debatably harmless.

It all boils down to one fact- we all have our reasons for the lies that we tell and the facts that we choose not to share. At the end of the day, what we don’t know won’t hurt us. Sometimes a tiny lie is necessary to ensure that all is well and all runs smoothly.

Featured photo credit: Movies with Mae via google.com

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What's The Story Behind Those Tattoos and Piercings?

Posted from http://www.lifehack.org/658922/body-art-and-piercings-whats-the-story-underneath-all-that?ref=rss

Some people are wild about body art. They become living canvases of tattoos and piercings. We were curious to find out what drives people to get such modifications.

We talked to two people who turn heads when they walk down the street because of their obsession with body art. Regina is covered in tattoos. Sam has oh-so-many piercings. What are they trying to say, and what’s it like to walk through the world in their skin?

When you become living art

Lifehack: Why did you get so many body modifications?

Regina: I’ve always liked tattoos. I’m an artist, so it fits. I didn’t intend to get so many, but I got hooked.

Sam: When I was younger, I got into metal music, and the musicians had piercings. Music was like my lifeline, and those guys were my role models. I got my labret (lip piercing) when I was 16, and I haven’t looked back.

Lifehack: What have you learned from having so much body art?

Regina: It’s OK to be different.

Sam: I’m not afraid to stand out. Whenever I go somewhere new, I always have something to talk about with people. Most people aren’t so bad.

Lifehack: How do your loved ones feel about your tattoos and piercings?

Regina: I don’t really talk to my family. By the time my friends met me, I was already inked. The tattoos were just part of the package.

Sam: My family doesn’t mind at all. My mom took me to get my first piercing. My grandparents don’t really understand why I do this to myself, but they are ok about it.

Lifehack: How many piercings/ tattoos do you have?

Regina: I have 7 piercings and 37 tattoos.

Sam: I have 30 piercings, but I’m not done yet.

Lifehack: How much do you spend on body modifications?

Regina: A lot. The key when you’re getting this much ink is to go to a good artist. My guy doesn’t pick up a tattoo gun for less than $150 an hour. The more color and detail, the more expensive it’s going to be. I have about $20,000 wrapped up in these full sleeves, and there’s still more that I want to do with them. I can only get a little work done each year because of the cost.

Sam: I got a few of these – like my ears – done for less than $50 a piercing. These dermals were $150 for the three of them. It just depends on the area.

Lifehack: What kind of identity are you expressing with your tattoos/ piercings?

Regina: I’ve always gone against the grain, so it makes sense that I’d do it with my body too. The tattoos are my way of carrying art on my body at all times.

Sam: I’m not going for a specific identity. I just don’t want to be like everyone else.

Lifehack: Do you get shunned by society? Do people give you weird looks or comments?

Regina: I definitely get looks. My first few tattoos were small, so it didn’t matter, but once I got them on my neck, people started to stare. People do say things, sometimes. Just today, a woman screamed out her car window that I needed to go to church. Go figure.

Sam: The piercings on my face and head are pretty extreme by most standards. People might stare, but this hasn’t stopped me from doing what I want to do.

Lifehack: Is it acceptable for you to have this body art at work?

Regina: The tattoos are part of my work, so it’s fine. I know if I wanted to get a job in an office, I’d have trouble.

Sam: I’m a barber at an edgy shop downtown. It’s completely acceptable there.

Lifehack: Do you need to hide your body art?

Regina: It’s a tough for me to hide them now, but when I first met my fiance’s parents, I did cover them. I was afraid they’d be alarmed by my appearance.

Sam: I can’t cover them anymore. There’d just be big holes all over my face. It looks better when they’re in. People just have to accept me.

Lifehack: Did it hurt? Which one hurt the most?

Regina: Of course it hurt! Have you ever had someone dig a needle into your skin for several hours? The tops of my feet and my rib-cage hurt the worst. It felt like the needle was hitting bones the whole time.

Sam: My nipple piercings were the worst. They hurt so freaking bad! My dermals hurt too. It was totally worth it though.

There’s more than meets the eye with body mods

We enjoyed having Sam and Regina answer our burning questions about body modifications. Our interviewees reminded us that you can’t judge a book by its cover.

The post What’s The Story Behind Those Tattoos and Piercings? appeared first on Lifehack.

How To Really Make Money with YouTube

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnChowDotCom/~3/B1TgsvEhE-c/

On this episode of the Dot Com Lifestyle Vlog, I show you how to make big money with YouTube, even if you’ve been removed from the YT Partner Program (95% of YouTube channels are being removed). I also take delivery of my new $5,000 Life Fitness Elliptical Cross-Trainer!

How To Live The Ultimate Dot Com Lifestyle

I have many internet products and services that makes me money while I’m sleeping. Continuity affiliate programs like Aweber, LeadPages, ClickFunnel, MOBE, and others ensure a steady flow of income no matter what I’m doing or where I am in the world. Of all the programs, MOBE has consistently been one of the highest earners. It’s the program I recommend for new and experienced Internet marketers.

The best way to start is by applying for the 21 Step System. This is a step by step system that I created with MOBE to help you make your first $1,250, $3,300, $5,500, and even $10,000 online. In addition to the steps, you’ll also be given a one-on-one coach who will help you get started on the right track. I can’t promise that you’ll make as much as me, but you will make money if you follow the steps and plug in with your coach.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

Being Proud Can Bring A Positive Force To Your Life

Posted from http://www.lifehack.org/655321/being-proud-can-bring-a-positive-force-to-your-life?ref=rss

Nobody likes a show off. Pride is a double-edged sword. When you aren’t proud enough, you have trouble feeling successful. If you’re too proud, people mistake you for a narcissist. Are there ever times when pride is a good thing?

Today, we’ll take a look at the different types of pride and how it manifests itself. Pride is more than meets the eye, and you may discover some ways that pride is beneficial for us.

When pride goes wrong

Nothing in excess is ever a good thing–even a sense of pride. Pride is often negative because it puts emphasis on the ego and self at the expense of the group.

Too much praise can inflate a person’s ego and create a drive for external validation. If you rely solely on external praise for motivation, you’ll have a hard time with self-motivation. Enjoying undeserved praise can also get you into the bad habit of bragging to elicit praise.

People with too much pride develop a sense of superiority over others. When an individual is too proud, they may also be unwilling to ask for help, which can make their lives miserable. For these reasons, we generally don’t like to be around people who are too proud.

Pride doesn’t have to be all bad, though. It’s healthy to give and receive praise when it’s been earned. It’s important to offer appreciation when someone does something well, and it’s equally crucial to be appreciated.[1] As long as people accept praise with a balance of pride and humility, there’s nothing wrong with being recognized for doing a good job.

5 reasons to enjoy the positive side of pride

1. You’ll hold high standards

Individuals who take pride in their work are more likely to have higher-quality outputs.[2]

2. You can push back against negativity

When something doesn’t work out the way you want it to, you need some pride to keep going. Pride makes you resilient.[3]

3. It’s a sign that you care

If you don’t take pride in what you’re doing, you probably don’t care about it.

4. Pride spurs leadership

When you really care about something, you’re willing to fight for it. If a project, organization, or place is in jeopardy, a proud person will become a leader to protect it.[4]

5. Proud people look after their families

When you’re proud of your family, you go to bat for them. You try to give them the best things in life, and you won’t allow them to suffer in poor conditions.

How to use pride to your advantage

As long as you nurture the positive aspects of pride and keep your ego in check, pride can be a real asset. Remember, pride is about setting high standards, living up to them, and avoiding narcissism.

Hang with the right crowd

There are many ways to nurture pride and avoid selfishness. Surrounding yourself with the right kinds of people can go a long way to putting you on the right path. It’s been said that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, after all.

The right kind of people are the ones who will provide support and encouragement, but they’ll be honest with you. People who dole out praise when it isn’t deserved can over-inflate your ego. If you spend time with individuals who offer appreciation when you’ve done something well, they can help you build up a healthy sense of self.

Stay humble

You can feel a sense of pride and still show humility. Just because you do something well, doesn’t mean that you have to go out of your way to brag or seek praise. Be comfortable with knowing that you are doing your best work without having to have validation from outside sources.

Try new things

When you try something new, you give yourself permission to not be the best at something. Whether you’re setting out on a new creative endeavor or developing a fresh skill set, pick something that pushes you outside of your comfort zone. This will remind you what it’s like to be a beginner, and when you do master that skill, you will feel the pride of having achieved something new.

Do what you love

People need more external validation when they are unsatisfied with their work. For example, if you despise your job, you might develop an inflated ego to protect yourself from negative feelings. Work doesn’t always have to be fun, but you should derive some satisfaction from it without having to brag and seek rewards all the time.

Take time for self-reflection

Stopping to think about who you are, what you value, and how you’re feeling about life should be ongoing practices. Build in some time to think about how you feel. Are you noticing tendencies that suggest that your level of pride has become selfish?

By monitoring your feelings, you can adjust before extreme pridefulness damages your life. Create a plan of action for when you feel that you have developed an unhealthy ego. If you have trouble recognizing these things in yourself, look to a trusted friend or loved one to steer you in the right direction. The people you have the closest relationships with will have no problem telling you if you’re full of yourself.

Do something outside of yourself

Use your skills to help others. This could mean taking a new co-worker under your wing or volunteering your time in the service of those who need it. Serving others keeps you grounded, and it gives your life meaning. Even if you don’t have a lot of time, you can make the world a better place in small ways.

It’s okay to feel accomplished

There’s nothing wrong with believing in your ability and feeling good when you’ve done something well. Even as you advance, remember to stay grounded.

Reference

[1] Wholistic Fit Living: When pride is good
[2] Changing Minds: Pride
[3] Debate.org: Is Pride a Bad Thing?
[4] Lifestyle Magazine: 19 Reasons pride is important in a man

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