You're Paid to Work, Not to Endure Verbal Abuse. Don't Be Intimidated

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As adults, most of us don’t have to deal with the same kind of bullying and verbal abuse we might have faced as kids, but this kind of abuse does happen in the workplace fairly regularly.

A 2014 survey from the Workplace Bullying Institute [1]found that 27 percent of all American workers are being bullied at work or have been in the past, and 21 percent have witnessed episodes of verbal abuse against co-workers.

In all, more than 65 million Americans have been affected by bullying at work.

What Defines Verbal Abuse at Work?

Verbal abuse is one part of workplace bullying, which can also include sabotaging a person’s work to prevent them from doing what they are supposed to be doing at work. Taking just the verbal piece, abuse is defined as language that is intimidating, threatening or humiliating.

It may or may not include yelling, cursing, insulting or mocking the victim. This abuse may be tied to sexual harassment or not.

How Do You Know You’re Being Verbally Abused?

One reason it can be difficult to pin down what is abusive behavior — and to get the bully punished — is because people with different personalities have different levels of tolerance for teasing, gossip or sexual jokes. One person might be OK with it while another dreads coming to work and is ready to quit over the same situation.

There is clearly a difference between blowing off steam and complaining about work or your co-workers and being abusing to the point of harassment. But the difference can sometimes be hard to pin down.

You might begin to call the behavior verbal abuse when it regularly affects your attitude and performance [2]at work. If you are dreading work and obsessing about what might happen there in your off hours, that can be a sign. Other changes like higher blood pressure when around the abuser, feelings of shame or guilt or not wanting to do things you once enjoyed can all be effects of abuse in the workplace.

Why Do People Abuse Others in the Workplace?

If there’s such a thing as an average abuser, most are men in positions of power above the person they are abusing. Fifty-six percent of the bullies in the Workplace Bullying Institute survey had authority over their victims, and 69 percent were men (60 percent of targets were female).

An abuser often has a group of friends [3] who may egg him or her on or who serve as witnesses to the abuse. These people will often laugh and try to make the abused person feel like the verbal abuse was all a joke that they shouldn’t be so sensitive about. But sometimes abusers will wait until they are alone with their victim so there is no proof of the abuse.

Either way, as with a lot of bullying outside the workplace, this verbal abuse is often related to the abuser wanting to feel more powerful and in control. They’ll abuse people they feel are weak in some way and use that person to make them feel better when they are under stress or in other situations when they feel the need to control someone.

Why is it Important to Understand Workplace Abuse?

Even if it’s not happening to you right now, it’s important to understand workplace abuse and what can be done about it so that you can support other people who might be in that situation or know what to do if it happens to you.

The most important thing to know is that there is no law against bullying or verbal abuse in the workplace in the United States. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer in silence.

Bullying can and often does rise to the level of harassment or creating a hostile work environment, which can be documented and presented as a formal complaint to a superior or to human resources.

How to Deal with Verbal Abuse at Work

The main thing you need to understand first is that the verbal abuse and bullying you are experiencing is not your fault. It’s not because you’re bad at your job and usually doesn’t have much to do with you at all.

Second, recognize that what is happening to you is not normal, and it is abuse. Don’t say “oh, she’s just having a bad day” or “he has a bad temper” to excuse the behavior.

Begin by trying to talk to the abusive person about their behavior. Tell them you don’t like it when they talk that way and you feel they are being abusive. They may laugh it off, or they may take you seriously.

Some people secretly tape their abuser and play the tape back to them to show them their behavior, which they might not even fully realize they are doing.

Check your employee handbook for next steps. While there’s no state or federal law against bullying, your company may have respectful workplace policies in place or a procedure for dealing with harassment.

Document what’s been happening if you can so it doesn’t become a he said, she said battle.

But be aware of the possibility that you won’t be believed or supported by people who should be on your side. The company may feel the superior is more important and try to protect them even when they are in the wrong. Sometimes the only answer to verbal abuse in the workplace, unfortunately, is finding a new job or transferring away from that person.

Also consider getting help in the form of therapy, talking to a trusted friend or seeking out stories of people who have survived workplace abuse. It always helps to know that you are not alone.

Reference

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Quick Learners Do These 8 Different Things to Pick Up Anything Easily

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In most parts of the world today, education is seen as a right, not a privilege. Even if sometimes costly, every individual has, at least in theory, the possibility of studying anything he or she desires. In response to this massification of the educational system, the quantity of information has grown exponentially. Moreover, it has spread and diversified into innumerable domains, sub-domains and specializations.

Regardless, education is nothing if it does not provide a certain degree of general knowledge and culture of other fields. In order to prevent schools and colleges from spawning specialists that are laser-focused on their field alone, the practice of quick learning has gained increasing popularity in the last years.

However, tackling and even partly understanding a subject in a brief time can be extremely demanding. Mixing it with other starkly different matters of interest only adds more difficulty. As such, a few techniques and practices have to be adopted and mastered in order to successfully engage in quick learning.

They are masters of prioritizing

In order to be able to tackle different topics and a large quantity of information in a short period of time, the ability to self-organization is key. Quick learners are excellent in setting priorities[1] and achievable objectives for themselves.

To do this successfully and consistently, one needs to play around his or her own personality and study habits as there are nearly as many learning styles as there are people. A careful, studied approach to a subject can save a lot of time and help outline its important parts.

They know how to motivate themselves

Connected to the previous point, benchmarking is the practice of organizing any task into sub-goals. This breaking down of a titanic assignment works well as an incentive. Humans are wired to receive a degree of satisfaction upon completing a task. For that reason, large and time-consuming activities can seem like an eternity.

Quick learners, however, use benchmarking to keep themselves motivated and energized throughout the entire time of the project or task. This keeps productivity at elevated levels and brings about the peace of mind specific to a job well done.

They are good at asking for help and collaborating

Lots of organized, disciplined and intelligent individuals make the mistake of relying solely on their own ability to cope with an immense amount of information. As a result, their data absorption rate is modest and their comprehension of the studied subject is approximate.

By comparison, quick learners know how to collaborate and ask the right questions. By doing so, they lower the information load on themselves, allowing for a better understanding of diverse subjects. Students, for example, can now access collaborative learning platforms such as Edmodo[2], where they can engage with teachers, take quizzes in order to test their knowledge on various topics, as well as manage their progress.

They spend time and effort to revise and practice

Human memory is not perfect. As such, what was once thoroughly understood and memorized may sooner or later fade away. Foreign languages are the best example of this occurrence. Left unpracticed for a longer period of time, words and expressions are easily forgotten. Quick learners constantly go over what they have studied, rewriting or outlining notes in order to keep the information at least partly fresh.

They learn from every failure

Success, as prized as it is by society, can result in a weakening of the ability to deal with new and challenging circumstances. In short, failure can foster adaptability, whereas success is more likely to lead to overconfidence. Quick learners do not become frustrated and most of all, they do not give up. Instead, they extract new techniques and methods of learning from each failure.

They do the right thing in the right place

The importance of the surroundings during learning is evident to anyone. Focusing requires calm, quiet and a lack of distractions. However, changing the environment can have a significant impact on one’s ability to learn in that moment.

As such, regularly switching from the usual dark room to the park or a library is beneficial and recommended. One trick is to tie a certain subject of interest to a location. For example, a med student may study embryology in the library, biochemistry at home and read up on anatomy in the park.

They rely on hard copies to help them concentrate better

Technology is greatly influencing learning styles. One of the visible changes is that smartphones, tablets and laptops are gradually pushing print out of the usual work space or classroom.

Nowadays, students no longer confine themselves for hours on end in the library to study dusty manuals, nor do they fight for who gets to use the single copy of a certain work. Instead, information is made readily available to them online. Papers, studies, reports, syntheses of greater books are all a click away.

However, when it comes to learning, researchers have found[3]that about 90% of students prefer hard copy or print for school work. Similarly, 92% would choose a printed version when dealing with a longer text. The same percent report to be able to concentrate better when reading a hard copy. Significantly, the same study reveals that 85% of American students said that they find it easier to multi-task when reading on a laptop or tablet.

They choose to believe in themselves when there is any self-doubt

The traditional view is that to be able to understand and practice something, you need intelligence, skill, and good learning habits such as the aforementioned ones. However, according a private internet access Netflix expert[4] he said “it is an underlying sense of self-efficacy, personal agency and the motivational and behavioral processes to put these self-beliefs into effect.”

Simply put, educational psychologists have discovered the complex role that self-doubts, false beliefs, unfortunate self-monitoring and strategy choice dilemmas play in the cognitive process of learning. To be able to learn something is thus connected to one’s balance and beliefs about the self-motivation and self-confidence being prime movers towards success, something which quick learners have mastered.

By following these 8 techniques to appropriating information, quick learners are able not only to go over a large quantity of data, but to also achieve higher levels of comprehension. Their example might be the model of the future, a time in which information only continues to expand and to become more and more diversified.

Reference

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Verbal Abuse That's Not Easy to Spot but Indeed Very Harmful

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Verbal abuse runs rampant and is the most under reported act of Domestic Violence of them all. More often than not, young girls are raised that this is how we are expected to be treated. Several groups want to point out that it’s not true.

However, 62% of tweens (ages 11-14) report that they are aware of their friends being in verbally abusive relationships. 1 in 4 teenage girls, who are in relationships, report enduring repeat verbal abuse. Tweens and teens do not just automatically subject themselves to such relationships, it’s learned behavior that stays for a long time.

Verbal Abuse Is More Than Feeling Uneasy. It Dampens Our Spirits.

Entering into adulthood, this behavior continues. In some cases, it turns into physical and/or sexual violence. However violent the relationship can get, the verbal abuse is the most damaging to the psyche. Repeatedly exposing ourselves to verbal abuse can lead to:

  • the feeling like you are constantly on guard
  • loss of enthusiasm
  • unsure of being able to communicate effectively (you can, your abuser will convince you otherwise)
  • diagnosis of depression and/or anxiety
  • suicidal thoughts
  • trapped in the “what if” thoughts
  • feeling uneasy or paranoid for no reason

Complete Catalogue on Various Abuse Tactics

There are very specific methods to abuse and these become your warning signs. If you are newly dating someone, take note of these tactics!

Withholding

They don’t tell you everything and avoid sharing thoughts or feelings. Discussions become based only on facts with no real in-depth sharing.

Countering

There is a tendency to be argumentative. You enjoy a movie, your abuser must tell you why the movie was awful and convince you that you are wrong. I often said that if I told my ex-husband “the sky is blue” then he would go on a long winded rant on why the sky was really green and there was something wrong with my vision.

Discounting

They are removing your rights to how you feel. You become “too” much of anything. You are too sensitive, too childish, or over-dramatic. This tactic tends to leave you feeling as if you are never quite good enough for your partner.

It’s Just a Joke

They are hiding the abuse behind the caveat “it’s just a joke”. My ex-husband would often spend plenty of time trying to shame me for something in front of other people and if I dared get upset he would say “it’s just a joke, your being too sensitive”.

Blocking and Diverting

They control all conversations. The abuser decides what you two talk about and if you change the subject, you are chastised for speaking out of turn.

Accusing or blaming

The victim is blamed for things going “wrong” in the abusers life that is out of control for the victim. A famous example is that your appearance is all wrong and cost the abuser a potential promotion. Of course it couldn’t possibly be because the abuser wasn’t right for the promotion!

Trivializing and Undermining

They minimize your successes or passions. You may really like a particular type of food and your abuser must tell you how unspectacular it is. If you get a promotion or a raise at work, they will try to lessen the good that it makes you feel.

Threatening

This can be as simple as “if you don’t do this, I will leave you”. My ex-husband was quite subtle with his threats. His worst was when he told his friend in front of me “I am afraid of my temper. I think one day I may lose control and kill my wife”. He stared at me to see a response.

Name Calling

It is the most popular form in which the abuser must reduce your self-esteem by using vulgar and demeaning language to describe you. It often weakens the victim to a point in which she doesn’t feel good enough about herself to leave.

Forgetting

They forget date night, forget to call, forget your birthday or anniversary. It’s an act of controlling what happens in your day to day and controlling your emotions. Forgetting your birthday hurts.

Gaslighting

The abuser changes events that have already happened. You will recall a series of events and your abuser will say something like “that is crazy, that never happened!”. Or worse, they will change the events and tell you that your memory is wrong. It’s not only an act of control, it’s meant to drive you crazy.

Projection

They pretend like you are using abuse tactics on them. Many abusers, when confronted with their acts of abuse, will try to flip the events and claim that the victim is actually the abuser. This is especially true for narcissistic abusers who can’t handle having their public image shattered.

Several Things to Do in Face of Verbal Abuse

If you find yourself in a situation with someone using verbal abuse, your instinct will be to rationally have a discussion. The fact is, you cannot reason with an abuser. Try as you might, it just won’t stop once they know how to get under your skin.

One way to combat the abuse is to call them out for their behavior every single time it happens. Avoid using you statements such as “you are gaslighting me!”. Rather be more direct with “stop abusing me!” or “stop blaming me for things I cannot control”. They will either learn from their behavior and stop or they will move on to another person to try and abuse.

Your other option is to set boundaries and not pursue relationships with folks who do abuse you. This can be very difficult if this is a close familial relationship.

Ultimately, you should not feel obligated to endure abuse for anyone at anytime. When you set the boundary to only allow healthy relationships, you are empowering yourself to expect better treatment.

It’s important to note that verbal abuse is an act of domestic violence. It doesn’t matter if someone never lays a hand on you, verbally abusing you is harmful and damaging. If you, or anyone you love, is enduring verbal abuse please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help, 1-800-799-7233

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Here’s How You Can Turn Tragedy Into Triumph

Posted from http://addicted2success.com/life/heres-how-you-can-turn-tragedy-into-triumph/

Every success story is riddled with trials, triumph, and tragedy. The ability to overcome these barriers is what makes them so appealing. From the small startup disrupting the industry giants to a small platoon battling a massive army. In these moments our character is tested, and our resolve built.

When it seems like there’s nowhere to go is when the fiercest battles take place in our mind, body, and spirit. The ones who triumph are forever remembered in history, and the rest are forgotten.

So what’s the difference between these titans and the average person?

It’s not social standing, stature, or even wealth. The determining factor that separates the haves from the have-nots is their grit and determination. In one word, perseverance. Grit is the quality that keeps us moving forward in a sea of turmoil, facing a tidal wave of doubt, we batten down the hatches and weather the storm.

Sticking to the plan when most have already walked away. Working alone, silently, without pay, and without recognition. It’s this quality that makes us bend but not break. We wag our fingers in defiance of the odds, shattering the alleged barriers of reality.

Forever pushing the limits of what’s possible, creating new horizons and blazing our name on new frontiers. It’s this quality that makes the finest men and women of history seem like gods amongst mortals.

Either placed in these situations by choice or by circumstance, this is when we shine the brightest. The ability to hold ourselves to a different standard and not settling for mediocrity. Forever striving for success in an unrelenting fashion, knowing that failure is not a permanent condition, but a temporary inconvenience.

It’s this self-accountability and awareness to recognize that nothing worth having comes easy. Risking it all while showing up and performing every single day without any loss of enthusiasm.

“Fortune favors the brave.” – Publius Terence

Rise to the occasion

The crew of the Essex knows this quality all too well. When placed between a rock and a hard place they chose to rise to the occasion. This incredible tale is the inspiration for Herman Melville’s Moby Dick and a true story of perseverance and the fighting spirit.

The Essex was a whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts piloted by Captain Pollard and his 20 men in the 1800’s. During their whaling expedition, the ship was rammed by a sperm whale sinking it.

This left Captain Pollard and the crew fending for their lives on three small rescue boats hundreds of miles away from civilization with no land in sight. With little provisions, much of the Essex crew did what they could to fight off starvation and dehydration. Sadly, much of the crew perished due to these abysmal conditions, but the survivors did not lose hope.

With such a dire situation most would succumb to the circumstances, but Captain Pollard kept his resolve and encouraged his men. After weeks at sea, the remaining survivors eventually resorted to cannibalism doing anything necessary to fight off death.

Surviving long enough for a passing ship to rescue them the survivors were found delirious, starved, and a shadow of their former selves. Eventually, the surviving crew returned to Nantucket, Massachusetts to their family where they tried to forget the horrors of the ocean.

Fighting seemingly insurmountable odds in a literal sea of despair is why the Essex survivors will forever be remembered. Their courage and ability to endure the agony of hopelessness is a quality we should all strive to obtain.

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” – Roger Crawford

Learn to fight adversity

Luckily for us, we are not in life and death circumstances, but many times we are too easily discouraged at the first sign of resistance. Unable to say no, stand up, and do what is necessary in the face of adversity. We must learn to channel our inner survivor and fight off these obstacles with the tenacity of a prize fighter.

To do otherwise would be selling ourselves short and conforming to the reality that society has placed on us. Rather than living on our knees let’s die on our feet knowing that at the end of the day we gave life everything we had. Leaving no stone unturned forever pushing past our comfort zones.

We must realize that life is a bold adventure and to take advantage we have to keep throwing things against the wall knowing that eventually, something will stick. Everyone thinks that there’s such a thing as overnight success, but its years in the making. Let’s make the commitment to strengthen our resolve because if we never quit, we cannot fail.

How have you been able to turn tragedy into triumph? Leave your experiences below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

The Hard Truth About Making Money Online

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnChowDotCom/~3/oknkdJ6zEso/

… or making money at all, for that matter.

The Internet has provided this tremendous opportunity for just about anyone from just about anywhere around the world to make a very comfortable living from the comforts of their home. All you need is a computer and a reliable Internet connection and you could be well on your way to giant yachts, fast cars, and glorious vacations.

At least the potential is there. Actually achieving these dreams can be another matter altogether. And even though the biggest appeal to the dot com lifestyle doesn’t really have to do with the money at all, the money is what will empower you with the freedom to live your life the way you want to live it.

Surviving the Shark Pool

With these grand goals and visions in mind, you set off on your journey as an online entrepreneur. But the commission checks don’t come piling in through the door. You don’t see those big numbers posted by the big gurus in the industry. What gives?

steve-jobs

Step back from the world of online marketing for a moment and consider what the traditional business market looks like. For most of us, Steve Jobs will be remembered as the man who revolutionized the consumer electronics industry with his unique perspective on what the customer actually wants. The Mac wasn’t the first computer and the iPhone wasn’t the first smartphone, but he eventually made them work and the Apple empire was born.

But Apple is not where he got his start. He started by selling a product that would allow people to get illegal free phone service. That’s a little shady, to say the least, and he was met with limited success in its first ever business venture.

Did he give up? No. Did he stick with this one business? No. He kept broadening his horizons and exploring new opportunities until he found something that stuck. He kept pushing the limits until he found something that was popular, profitable, and innovative.

A Humbling Experience

Now, I don’t claim to be anywhere near in the same league as a Steve Jobs, but my own personal experience as a freelance writer and online business owner can be quite telling too.

marginbook

After co-authoring a book with John a few years prior, I published my own book in early 2014. I had this grand vision of taking my experience as a blogger and professional writer, parlaying that experience to become a successful author. I wanted to be an international best seller.

While I did manage to sell a few copies, most of those grand visions and grand ambitions were shattered. Beyond the Margins is hardly an international best seller. I haven’t been invited to appear on a late night talk show to share some banter with Stephen Colbert. In the grand scheme of things, the book barely made a dent.

So, what gives?

After all, I have accumulated a good number of valuable contacts over the last ten years of my professional career and I have a good grasp on several aspects of online marketing and social media. But the sales were disappointing and stagnant at best. This illustrates a far too common and difficult truth about making your living on or off the Internet.

Falling and Failing, Again and Again

Your first venture will likely fail. You might invest all sorts of time, money and resources into it and you might think you have all your ducks in a row. But you will probably fall and fall hard on your face. This is true whether your first venture is a blog, a YouTube channel, or a published book. If you’re lucky, you’ll see some success. If you’re like most other people, you won’t.

Chances are that your second venture will only do slightly better than your first one, if at all. Again, if you have some good fortune on your side, you might explode on the scene and your bank account balance will shoot through the roof. But if you’re anything like the majority, that’s rather unlikely. You might face similar shortcomings with your third time around.

But should you give up? The simple and very hard time about making money is that it will take more than one, two or even three tries for you to break out and make it big, if you ever do at all. The people who are able to elevate to the level of a Steve Jobs, a Richard Branson or a Warren Buffett are the ones who stubbornly persist in the face of failure. The people who make it big are the ones who stick it through the hard times, confident that they’ll make it.

If you want to succeed, you’ll need to develop a tough skin and recognize that failure is not failure at all. It’s just another step toward your success. You just might have to take a few more steps than you had originally anticipated.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

Zinc: The Usually Forgotten Micronutrient We Need Daily and Its Food Source

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/r8kr5fSTbo8/zinc-the-usually-forgotten-micronutrient-we-need-daily-and-its-food-source

Zinc, as you may know, is a metal. It is also important that you get it into your diet. On this page, we are going to talk a little bit about the benefits of zinc, before we cover some of the best foods to get some zinc into your diet.

Why do you need zinc in your diet?

When most people think about getting zinc into their diet, they think about the job of zinc as a natural cold remedy. However, the purpose of the mineral is a lot more important than this. It can help with the following:

  • Assists with the production of hormones in your body
  • Boosts your immune system
  • Helps digestion
  • Acts as an anti-inflammatory which could help to reduce pain in your body
  • Can assist with preventing some forms of cancer
  • Can tackle heat disease

Those who have a zinc deficiency, even a small amount, are at an increased risk of diabetes or infertility. Basically, it is a very important nutrient.

How much zinc should you consume?

You do not need that much zinc in your body each day. Adult males will require at least 11mg a day. Adult females around 8 milligrams. Children will need slightly less, but we are going to firmly focus on adults here.

However, we do want to note that in babies, the combination of Zinc and Vitamin K benefits [1] them incredibly. While they do not serve the same purpose, neither of them can be found in human breast milk. As a result, it is likely that the child will need to get them into their diet in some other way to promote normal development.

Top 10 Food with A Rich Source of Zinc

Let’s take a little look at a list of some of the best zinc-containing foods, shall we?

Oysters

You will find 32mg of zinc in 6 raw oysters. This is 400% the RDA. This means that oysters are the best source of zinc around.

You can cook your oysters however you want. We like to keep things simple, however. We suggest that you fry them with a few herbs and maybe some cheese drizzled over the top. You can also throw the oysters into a good fish stew. While you can eat oysters raw, it is not recommended.

Recommended Recipe: Pan Fried Oysters

Beef

There is 7mg of zinc in 3 ounces of braised chuck roast.

In addition to the zinc, you will also find vitamin B12, a much-needed vitamin for keeping your skin cells healthy.

You can cook your beef in a variety of different ways. Some people like to make hamburgers (bake, don’t fry), while others like to make a stew. We prefer the latter route as it means that you will be able to incorporate a few vegetables into the mix too.

Recommended Recipe: Jool’s Favourite Beef Stew

Crab

There is 4.7 mg of zinc in a single can of blue crab meat. You will also find vitamin A, B, C and magnesium.

Probably the best way in which to heat your crab meat is in a salad. It is not especially luxurious, but it works. Some people also like to throw it into a stir fry.

Recommend Recipe: Crab Salad

Breakfast Cereal

There are some breakfast cereals which have been fortified with zinc. The exact quantity of zinc will be dependent on the cereal that you are buying.

We don’t really have a recipe to share with you here. Cereal is cereal. To make the most out of it, though, put milk on the cereal (low fat!). This will give you an extra helping of zinc.

Lobster

There is 3.4mg of zinc in 3 ounces of cooked lobster. In addition to this, you will receive a generous helping of your daily amount of B12, 32% of your family protein needs, and 8% of the all the calcium required.

Lobsters can be prepared in several different ways. Some people love to incorporate them into salads. Others like to make sandwiches. You can even eat the lobster right out of the shell. This is why our recommended list covers several different recipes.

Recommended recipes: 28 Different Lobster Recipes

Pork Chop

You will find 2.9mg of zinc in 3 ounces of cooked pork chops. Pork chops are low in fat but high in protein. They contain choline which can be tough to get elsewhere. This is a nutrient which is known to have a positive impact on long-term memory.

If you want to get the most out of your pork chops, we suggest that you bake or grill them. While you can fry them, it is likely that the frying will undo some of the healthier benefits.

Recommended recipe: Marinated Baked Pork Chops

Cashews

There is 1.6 mg of zinc in 1 ounce of dry roasted peanuts. You will also find that these nuts are high in folate, vitamin K, and provide you with a significant amount of iron.

Most people eat their cashews ‘raw’. Do not eat them salted. You can, however, also incorporate them into a salad or a stir fry. These are both fantastic if you are looking to ensure a healthy mix of nutrients in your diet.

Recommended Recipe: Gingery Thai Kale Salad with Cashew Dressing

Chickpeas

There is 1.3mg of zinc per ½ cup of cooked chickpeas. There is also protein, fiber, and a whole host of healthy fats.

One of the great things about chickpeas is that you can use them in so many different ways. For example; if you are a vegetarian, you will be able to incorporate them into any dish which requires meat. They are a great substitute. We love to eat them as a hummus dip, though. You will then be able to dip some raw vegetables into them for a great boost in vitamins and minerals!

Recommended Recipe: Easy Hummus Peas

Chicken

There is 2.4mg of zinc in 3 ounces of dark meat. You will also find a healthy dose of protein and vitamin B6.

You probably already know of several recipes which you can use for chicken. The possibilities are limitless. You can bake it. You can fry it. You can make it into a salad. You can roast it. We love the salad option as, once again, it means that you will be able to get more nutrients into your diet.

Recommended Recipe: Chicken Salad

Almonds

There is 0.9mg of zinc in 1 ounce of dry roasted almonds. Not the highest amount, but the other minerals you can get will more than make up for that. You will also find magnesium, omega-3, and vitamin E. To cap it off, there is also some protein.

The only real way in which you can eat those almonds is straight out of the packet. They make a delightful snack. You can also sprinkle them over a salad if you are that way inclined.

Reference

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What’s Your Drug of Choice?

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnChowDotCom/~3/6aB_fZkCJic/

One of the most fascinating things that you’ll learn about Internet marketing isn’t really the variety of ways you can make some serious money online. Instead, it’s the clear demonstration that just about anyone can come from just about any situation and discover tremendous success out the other side.

You may already know, for instance, that John Chow himself grew up in one of Canada’s poorest neighborhoods and he is one of the best known and most successful Internet marketers today. In his new book Drug of Choice, Mark Van Stratum documents his journey from a life of drugs and crime to that of a jet-setting millionaire. Let’s get started with the review.

The True Story of the One-Armed Criminal

It’s obvious enough to anyone that some people are simply born into a better situation than others. If your parents are rich and successful, you will be afforded a great number of privileges denied to countless others. Conversely, if you have a rough childhood, your struggles will be more difficult.

In many ways, Drug of Choice should not be viewed as some sort of manual for how you too can make millions of dollars on the Internet. Instead, it describes Mark’s personal journey through hardship and how he was able to overcome those challenges. You could say it’s his memoir. It’s all told from a first-person perspective.

Mark talks about when he was just five years old, waking up in a hospital, unsure of how he got there. His arm had been run over by a train and had to be amputated. While it seems like he took it in stride himself (he hated staying at the hospital), the kids at school thought differently. He learned very quickly (and wrongly) that violence was the answer.

And then his father left when he was 12. Yes, Mark Van Stratum certainly started out from a rough spot.

Turning to a Life of Crime

If you’re hoping for a book full of pictures that you can finish in one sitting, this probably isn’t it. There are over 200 pages of straight text here, but the writing style makes for a light and easy read. It’s like a fictional tale, except everything in it is a true and accurate account (to the best of his memory) of Mark’s life.

He takes us along, for instance, to the time he robbed an office building with his best friend Alvin, another ne’er-do-well who never did fit in with the other kids. They were “brothers,” even though they weren’t related and weren’t even of the same race.

The narrative is approachable and compelling, while the actual chapters are kept relatively short so you always feel compelled to read just a little bit more. Why is his mother crying? How did he get into drugs and alcohol? What happened to turn all of this around?

Turning Things Around

Of course, this blog is mostly about Internet marketing and the dot com lifestyle, so it only makes sense that a sizable portion of the book is dedicated to that aspect of Mark’s life today. We learn how he connects with other successful entrepreneurs like Charles Ngo… as well as professional skydivers, apparently.

We learn about the myriad of other lessons he learned along the way, how he was able to turn his life around and start raking in the serious cash as an affiliate marketer. That became his new “drug of choice,” so to speak.

The Power of Choice

The take-home lesson that you will hopefully glean from reading this book is that it really is never too late to change. Rise above your circumstances, make better decisions, and with a little luck on your side, you could be on the receiving end of seven-figure affiliate payouts too.

Today, Mark Van Stratum says he has created “a fulfilling life” with a “worldwide circle of friends” and multiple businesses “boasting millions of dollars annually.” I think we all want something like that, right?

Drug of Choice: The Inspiring True Story of the One-Armed Criminal Who Mastered Love and Made Millions is available now on Amazon in your choice of hardcover, paperback and Kindle formats.

50% of Marriages Ends up in Divorce, Is It That Hard to Save a Marriage?

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/7RwvTukV8qU/50-of-marriages-ends-up-in-divorce-is-it-that-hard-to-save-a-marriage

The pic everybody is familiarised with, but so few braves dare to recognise: couples counseling. By acknowledging that a range between 42-50% of marriages in the US ends up in divorce – ratio that alarmingly increases for second-time married people, there is a vast field for psychologists to operate in what regards to helping couples to sort their differences. Then why is widely accepted that bringing couples counseling to the table is the beginning of the end-phase of most marriages?

Contrary to popular belief, in the 40-50s age group, women are the ones that take the initiative to apply for divorce, being the divorce ratio a 5,2% higher as recent studies hosted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics show . Sociologists credit this situation not only to an increased tendency for women seeking higher education degrees and better-paid jobs[1] but also to a mindset change on what used to be the 1950s society and the views on domestic violence (either physical or psychological). Divorcees are not stigmatised by society as it used to be, though many people still believe there’s room for improvement, and take as a final countermeasure the chance that professional help brings to us.

Seeking couples counseling services is giving your relationship another chance.

A fact is that the age gap between 40-50s is the largest pool of divorces for any community, and that factor is strictly linked to reaching a certain position in life where routine becomes a killer, children seek their lives as full grown-ups, and those minor “inconveniences” that were left under the carpet now seem to be impossible to disguise. Of course, there is a huge difference between seeking couple counseling services for domestic quarrels than infidelity, so these are the signs that can tell you maybe it’s time to consider asking for help:

  • When communication is, overall, negative: You don’t talk, you just spend half your time arguing over the weather, finance, kids, your broken car, your work troubles and even your neighbors’ new lawn mower. Everything seems to become an excuse to start a heated argument.
  • When you start losing trust: Relationships are built on trust, and when that delicate balance starts to quake, you start to question even the stupidest things that can come across your mind, like what your couple did with its payment rise, if he/she is paying taxes in time, how and when did this new friend showed up, since when this new hobby started to take that much interest, etc.
  • When you feel the need to keep secrets: Of course we all have our personal stuff that we would prefer not to talk about, but when you feel you need to keep things from your partner over and over, then it’s a sign things aren’t working the way they should.
  • When there are severe financial differences: Some of the essential aspects of marriages relies on good financial management. If one wants to start saving money for retirement and the other spends more from what’s making in a month’s salary, and the tendency doesn’t change over months (or even years), then probably it’s time to seek advice someplace else.
  • When there is no intimacy: No one expects marriage to be like the first year over time [2] , as people change, responsibilities show up, and we tend to get accustomed to the same things – meaning that initial spark might get lost. But if now you don’t even kiss goodbye, then something else is going on here.
  • When you live separate lives: To put this in few words, you share a roof, that’s all. Even your roommate in college was more aware of your routine and things that went on your life than your spouse.

If you can relate to 1-2 of this topics, then it’s time to sit down and talk about the things that are going on at the moment [3] . In case you identify your marriage with over 4 of these points, then book a session asap! There is still time to fix things if you still love each other.

To save your relationship, let the counselor help you. But your effort counts too.

Pick a therapist that really suits you and your partner.

Referrals are the best way to find a professional for a sensitive matter as this one. Either friend who went through the same as you are at the moment, or their parents, a co-worker you trust, your doctor, etc. can give a helping hand to find that person that can set a middle-ground to your constant quarrels or lack of affection.

First of all, be sure your therapist’s opinion isn’t biased towards marriage above all problems, as sometimes there is no viable way to make a relationship to work if differences are way too pronounced. Then, another factor you need to consider is that the professional itself must be a neutral one: a friend of one of the spouses isn’t a choice, as you need to consider you are willing to share your personal problems and your spouses’ as well – once again, you don’t want a biased opinion that can make the result a worse one than the initial problem.

Remember the good times.

One does simply get married to another person just because they saw each other at the mall, exchanged glances and tie the knot; there is a story behind [4] ! Think of the first date you two had, a memorable moment while you were dating, a gift you loved , and bring that to therapy.

Sometimes, the sole reason why therapy works is because counselors help us to talk [5] – yes, talk – without being afraid of what our spouse may say: the counselor is there to help, to make the other half of your marriage to understand your feelings and to help you to understand what your spouse thinks about your relationship.

Commitment is the key.

As marriages are a thing of two,[6] nothing is going to change if both parties aren’t willing to cooperate. By this we mean there’s no such thing as we see in movies or soap operas where one spouse drags the other to counseling, and miraculously things start to get clear, he or she gets familiarized with an old trauma of the spouse’s childhood, and you know the rest of the story.

If you get to the point that one believes seeking therapy for the trouble you are having is a waste of time, then it’s probably best to move on with your life someplace else[7].

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

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Simple and Efficient Exercises You Can Do To Get Rid Of a Double Chin!

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/bzbfQoi9EAU/how-to-get-rid-of-double-chin-efficiently

Looking in the mirror and seeing a double chin can be disheartening. It’s even more frustrating if you’re trying your best to get rid of it, but to no avail. While many double chins are put down to being overweight, unfortunately sometimes it can just be because of aging or genetics.

But understanding what a double chin is and what you can do to prevent or get rid of one will allow you to get rid of a double chin efficiently.

What Is A Double Chin And What Causes It?

A double chin is essentially an extra layer of fat that forms around your neck and sags down below your chin. This causes a noticeable crease and bulge that can become more prominent if weight is gained.

Although fat is usually the main culprit, it can be due to excess water being retained in that area, and many people have this as a hereditary trait, making it difficult to get rid of.

Alternatively, the aging process means our skin is susceptible to sagging, especially in the chin and neck area where the skin is delicate. The muscles in your chin can slacken over time adding to the development of a double chin.

How Can I Get Rid Of A Double Chin?

If your double chin is making you feel insecure, then along with a general good diet and exercise regime, there are target-specific exercises you can do. Making these a daily habit can work the two main muscles found in the neck (sternocleidomastoid and platysma) enough to help prevent the double chin from forming.

Neck Rolls

This exercise can be done standing up or sitting down but it’s important to keep your back and spine straight while doing this exercise.

  • Start with moving your chin over to your right shoulder.
  • Keeping your head down, slowly move to a central position
  • Move your chin over to the left shoulder. You should feel the tension in your neck and chin.
  • Repeat 10-15 times.

Working the Platysma Muscle

This muscle connects from your jawline to your shoulder, and is the best muscle to target when getting rid of a double chin.

  • Open up your mouth nice and wide.
  • Pull your bottom lip tight over your bottom teeth.
  • Move your jaw up and down.
  • Repeat this 10-15 times.

Sky Pout

This exercise tones the muscles in the chin, neck, and jaw.

  • Keeping your back and spine straight, slowly tilt back your head so you are looking skyward.
  • Pucker your lips so that they form a pout.
  • Hold this position for 5 seconds and then release.
  • Repeat 10-15 times.

Can I Prevent A Double Chin Long Term?

There are several daily habits you can adopt in order to get rid of a double chin alongside exercises. Doing these can help with the problem, depending on what is causing it.

Losing Weight Through Exercise And Good Nutrition

The most obvious solution, if your double chin is due to excess weight, is to go on a healthy eating and exercise regime. Losing overall body fat will result in your double chin reducing in proportion to the rest of your body. Avoiding foods high in saturated fats and processed sugar will not only help with your weight, but also your skin.

In addition, drinking plenty of water will not only help with the quality of your skin, but it will help speed up and regulate your metabolism; this means fat will be burned overall, including the double chin area.

Vitamin E to Supplement The Skin

Increasing your intake of vitamin E could help prevent sagging of the skin under the chin. This is because vitamin E plays an important role in slowing down the aging process for our skin, due to fighting off free radicals. While it won’t target your double chin, it will give your skin a fighting chance to prevent it.

Foods such as fruits, nuts, brown rice, legumes, olive oil, and dairy products all contain good amounts of vitamin E, so get these incorporated into your diet. If you find this hard to do, you can also consider taking a vitamin E supplement, but make sure not to exceed 540mg a day.

Chewing Gum To Help Tone Muscles

Chewing gum doesn’t just have to be about fresh breath. The movements we make when chewing are constantly using the small muscles in and around the face and jaw. By chewing gum regularly, you’re toning these muscles, which will go toward lessening a double chin. Just make sure it’s sugar free gum, and you’ll be doing a favor to your oral health too.

So, don’t fret over your double chin. Doing daily exercises and making sure you’re eating a good nutritional diet, along with general regular exercise, will go towards reducing the amount of double chin you have.

The post Simple and Efficient Exercises You Can Do To Get Rid Of a Double Chin! appeared first on Lifehack.

How to Create a Custom Post Type for Affiliate Links

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tipsandtricks-hq/~3/Rp08nRjctJU/how-to-create-a-custom-post-type-for-affiliate-links-9146

Depending on the type of web site that you are creating, and the desired content structure, it’s sometimes very powerful to create custom post types with custom fields.

Some of the time, you may want 100% control over the fields for your custom post type.

At a minimum, you may want to keep the post title, although you actually don’t have to.

Keeping the title is handy though for when viewing the content within the Admin and for generating a default post slug.

The title doesn’t actually have to be used on the front end if it’s not needed.

Let’s explore creating a custom post type for affiliate links, which can be expanded on at anytime.

Today, you will simply create an interface to store the affiliate URL, give it a name for easy reference, and to keep track of how many times the affiliate URL was visited.

Upon visiting the domain-branded & friendlier custom post URL, as opposed to the ugly affiliate URL, the counter will increment by one, and the browser will redirect to the affiliate URL.

Future upgrades for this application can involve creating country specific versions for each affiliate link, and redirecting to the appropriate URL based on the country of the visitor. This feature is handy if you are an Amazon affiliate.

Also, it can be expanded upon to pass data to the Custom Post, which can then pass the data along dynamically within the affiliate URL for tracking purposes.

Beyond that, for cleaner admin management, you can use the Admin Columns plugin so that you can display the Custom Post URL and Click Count in the Custom Posts list.

That way, it’s quicker to grab the Custom Post’s URL whenever you want to use the affiliate link, as it will be available at a glance instead of having to go into the Editor for the custom post, or having to get it from the View Link.

In this tutorial, you will be introduced to:

  • How to create a custom post type for affiliate links.
  • How to add custom fields to the custom post type for the affiliate URL, and for a click counter.
  • How to create a custom plugin to handle the incrementing of the click counter, and for redirecting the visitor to the affiliate URL.

Let’s create the custom post type now.

  1. From within your WordPress Dashboard, click on Plugins, then Add New.
  2. Do a search for ‘Custom Post Type UI’.
  3. Click Install Now, then Activate.
  4. Under the newly created CPT UI menu, click on Add Post Type.
  5. Enter affiliate_links for the Post Type Slug.
  6. Enter Affiliate Links for the Plural Label.
  7. Enter Affiliate Link for the Singular Label.
  8. Scroll down to Settings, and change Public to False.
  9. Change Show in Nav Menus to False.
  10. Change Exclude From Search to True.
  11. Remove Editor and Featured Image from the Supports box.
  12. Finally, click the Add Post Type button.

You will now see on the left side, a new menu option called Affiliate Links.

If you have a peek inside the Add New screen for Affiliate Links, you will see that Title, Slug, Status, Visibility, and Publish Date are the only editable settings.

Let’s now add a field for the URL, and another for the counter.

Follow along below to add custom fields to the custom post type.

  1. From within your WordPress Dashboard, click on Plugins, then Add New.
  2. Do a search for ‘Advanced Custom Fields’.
  3. Click Install Now, then Activate.
  4. Click on the newly created Custom Fields menu.
  5. Click the Add New button.
  6. Give it a Title, such as: Affiliate Link Custom Fields.
  7. In the Location box, choose Post Type is equal to: affiliate_links
  8. In the Options box, choose Standard for Style.
  9. Go back up to the top, and click the Add Field button.
  10. In the Field Label box, type: Affiliate URL.
  11. Change the Field Name to: my_custom_affiliate_url or something similar, to keep it unique from custom fields used in other plugins and tools that may find their way into your WordPress site down the line. Please make note of the name you use because we will be referencing it within the plugin.
  12. Leave the Field Type as Text, as we lack the URL type in the Free version of Advanced Custom Fields.
  13. Change Required to Yes.
  14. Click the Close Field button.
  15. Click the Add Field button again.
  16. For Field Label put: Click Counter.
  17. Change the Field Name to: my_custom_click_counter or something similar, to keep it unique. Again, please make note of the name you use because we will be referencing it within the plugin.
  18. Change the Field Type to Number.
  19. Change the Default Value to the number zero.
  20. Click the Publish button on the right side of the screen.

Now, let’s create a new Affiliate Link that we can use for testing purposes after we create the plugin.

  1. From within your WordPress Dashboard, click on Affiliate Links, then Add New.
  2. Give the link a name. For testing, just enter: Amazon Home Page
  3. In the Affiliate URL box, enter: https://www.amazon.com/
  4. Click the Publish button.
  5. Click on Screen Options, put a check next to Slug if not already selected, and click Update on the post. That way, you can modify the URL from the default that was created based on the title, if desired.

Now, if you view this Affiliate Link Post right now, you will see that it simply displays a page on your site with the Title.

That’s not the desired effect however.

We want it to redirect to the affiliate URL, but not before silently incrementing the hit counter.

Let’s create a quick plugin to accomplish these tasks.

To follow along, please be sure that you have the Pluginception plugin installed, as that is the approach we will be using to create a new plugin.

The video above shows how to set it up.

Finally, with Pluginception ready, follow these steps to create your custom plugin:

  1. From within your WordPress Dashboard, go to Plugins, then Create a New Plugin.
  2. Give it a name such as: My Affiliate Link Redirect Plugin.
  3. Click the Create a Blank Plugin button.
  4. Copy in the code shown in the video or below these steps if you are following along within the written tutorial. Please make certain that you use the appropriate field names if you didn’t use the names I suggested in the previous steps.
  5. Click the Update File button.

To test your work, follow along with these quick steps:

  1. From within your WordPress Dashboard, click on Affiliate Links. On a side note, as you can see in this screen, using a tool like Admin Columns could be handy because it would allow you to add your custom fields and other fields such as the Post URL in the columns. Either way, you can right click the View link to get the Affiliate Link or Post URL to use whenever you want to display your affiliate link somewhere.
  2. Right click the View link, and click Open in a New Tab.
  3. Visit the Tab and you will see that it redirected to the Amazon.com home page as expected.
  4. Now, head back to your Affiliate Links list.
  5. Click on the Edit link for your Amazon test link, and see that the Click Counter is now a 1.

A few extra things worth mentioning here.

  • One, be sure to always use your Custom Post Type’s URL when wanting to link to your affiliate link. If you use your actual affiliate link, this whole process will have been for nothing. The Custom Post Type URL is more attractive, has your domain branded in it, and keeps track of clicks. And perhaps in the future, it can also geo-target and do other wonderful things.
  • Secondly, since these are affiliate links, be certain to nofollow them whenever used.
  • Also, keep in mind that these links technically can be used on other sites, not just the site you are managing them with. Do so only with permission of course.
  • Lastly, there is a rule that you must be transparent about the use of affiliate links. Be sure to look up the rules and requirements governing the use of affiliate links. There are general rules, and probably specific rules for the merchant you are an affiliate for. Please do your homework before using this new tool on your Live site.

Below is the code used in this tutorial:

function my_affiliate_link_redirect() {
  if( is_singular( 'affiliate_links' ) ) {
    $count = (int) get_field( 'my_custom_click_counter', get_the_id() );
    $count++;
    update_field( 'my_custom_click_counter', $count, get_the_id() );
    wp_redirect( get_field( 'my_custom_affiliate_url', get_the_id() ) );
    exit();
  }
}
add_action( 'template_redirect', 'my_affiliate_link_redirect' );