Reading Before Bed – A Self Care Guide for a Calmer, Healthier, More Successful You

Posted from http://addicted2success.com/life/reading-before-bed-a-self-care-guide-for-a-calmer-healthier-more-successful-you/

I recently reintroduced the habit of reading before bed and it has had such a calming and positive effect on my life. When I was younger I was an avid reader, easily devouring five to six books a week. Sometimes even staying up until the middle of the night because I just couldn’t put a certain book down.

This was all prior to the era of smartphones. Once those became ubiquitous, my daily reading was replaced with quick fixes of random internet articles, and way too much Candy Crush. The constant presence of my smartphone coupled with increasing demands on my time as I have gotten older, has resulted in reading fewer books just for the pleasure of it.

Reading before bed is not just a way for me to recapture some of the easier, quieter times of my childhood but a concerted effort to reduce stress while improving my health and happiness.

Reading before bed has many health benefits

Initially you may tell yourself that you can’t possibly add another thing to your already busy schedule, especially when all you want to do is collapse in bed at the end of the day and get some much needed sleep. I hear you. The thing is, if you are living the kind of life where even some light reading in the evening seems like a huge imposition on your time, then cultivating this new habit is even more imperative because you stand to benefit the most from the additional stress relief.

According to research by the University of Sussex, reading can reduce stress levels by 68 percent. In fact, it is the best way to decrease cortisol levels compared to other relaxing activities such as listening to music or drinking hot tea. Immersing yourself in another world, even for a few minutes provides a much needed mental break, while engaging you in a different way that can promote empathy, and greater peace of mind.

“Knowing you have something good to read before sleep is amongst the most pleasurable things of sensations.” – Vladimir Nabokov

If you still aren’t convinced, and start feeling withdrawal symptoms at the mere mention of substituting your smartphone in the evening for good ol’ bound paper and ink, then realize just how much you stand to gain in cognitive functioning by making nightly reading a priority, rather than indulging the smartphone before bed habit.

It is well known that avid readers outperform those who don’t regularly read in a variety of cognitive tests, the benefits of which last well into advanced age. If you are in a cognitively demanding job, which is the case for many of us in knowledge fields, reading is a magic bullet of sorts that helps to decrease stress, improve cognition and help you sleep better.

You can find more time to read before bed by making simple tradeoffs

Daily reading before bed is incredibly beneficial so even if you just manage to do so a few times a week for as little as 15–20 minutes, you will be better off than before. It can become second nature, an integral part of your evening routine. One way I nudged myself towards my new habit was by making some simple tradeoffs.

I watch less TV now and stopped checking email earlier in the evening so that I could have additional time to read. Once you make the commitment, the next step is to stash plenty of books that you actually want to read. I am one of those rare people that still checks out books at the library, so that is my major go-to for reading material.

“Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.” – William Blake

Used bookstores, garage sales, thrift stores, your friends bookshelves, and of course the internet, will provide you with more reading material than you will ever know what to do with. So there is really no excuse for not having a new book around on a regular basis. The more you read, the more you will find new sources of inspiration for new books to read.

I keep a list in my phone of every book I hear about that sounds interesting, so I am never without reading material. One final tip is to remember that reading should be pleasurable. This is not 10th grade, where you had to get through The Crucible regardless of whether you liked it or not.

If you do not find yourself connecting with a particular author, or the story is just moving way too slow for your taste, then ditch the book. Life is too short to read things that you’re not absolutely thrilled about. Indulge in a good book and your mind and body will thank you.

What books are you going to start reading tonight? Please leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Why People Who Lie All the Times Are Mentally Sick

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/z-tzqqhZBYc/what-pathological-liar-and-why-they-lie

I went to college with a guy who was always saying things that seemed untruthful. He didn’t say anything remarkable – it wasn’t like he was talking about the time he went unicorn hunting or something, but he just didn’t seem sincere. There were even times I was almost certain he was recycling his roommate’s stories. It was incredibly frustrating for me and anyone who held a discussion with him, because there was a constant feeling of needing to chase down the truth to separate it from the fabrication. It was exhausting!

There’s a good chance you’ve met someone like that, too. I don’t know about you, but I finally went out of my way to avoid that person in order to get out of having to speak to him; I just didn’t have the energy to smile and nod and pretend he didn’t seem like a complete pathological liar. But I always wondered if it exhausted him, too.

Pathological liars lie for the sake of lying.

Pathological lying is a medical condition in which a person lies all the time, seemingly for no reason at all.[1] This is different from someone who lies from time to time; that’s called being human. Even clinicians have to rule out other things, like delusions or false memories, before determining someone is a pathological liar.

Pathological lies differ from other lies.

There are white lies, or lies that are told in order to be helpful. There are pathological lies, or lies told constantly as if without thought. And there are compulsive lies. Though pathological lying is compulsive, most experts agree it shouldn’t be confused with compulsive lying.

Compulsive lying is the habit of lying uncontrollably about anything, no matter how big or small. Both pathological liars and compulsive liars may lie habitually due to a history of abuse or other personal damage, but both may also lie for absolutely no reason! In fact, people who lie compulsively may continue to lie, even after being caught in a lie.

Even if you’re honest, you should care.

Some pathological lying can signal emotional disorders.[2] One example of this would be in the case of an individual who is abused lying to avoid more abuse. But sometimes pathological liars are dishonest for very different reasons.

Some research suggests that pathological lying is associated with a specific neurological pattern involving minor memory deficit as well as impaired frontal lobes which can negatively effect the way an individual evaluates information. So even though speaking with a pathological liar can be tiring and annoying, it’s helpful to recognize whether something is actually mentally wrong with the individual, or if they simply lie so often they no longer recognize the truth.

Anyone can pick out a pathological liar.

If you’re trying to decide if someone you know is a pathological liar, here are some traits to look for:

  • The lies are elaborate. Earlier when I said it was exhausting to pick apart what was fact and what was fiction, it’s mostly because of how elaborate the lies are. Typically, a pathological liar will weave truth into the lie.
  • The lies make the liar look good, or even like a victim. If a pathological liar is telling you a story involving multiple people, he will typically look like the hero, or as if he is being treated unfairly and doesn’t deserve it. This could be due to low self-esteem. Part of why a pathological liar lies is because they feel they deserve attention.[3] They’ll do whatever it takes to get to be in the spotlight. For this same reason, they’ll also get defensive if they get caught in a lie and blame someone else.
  • The lies aren’t original. Sometimes, pathological liars retell other peoples’ stories but change the narrative so it sounds like it happened to them! If a story sounds familiar, don’t dismiss it. There’s a good chance you truly have heard it before.
  • Liars avoid questions that might get them caught. When a pathological liar is confronted with questions, they tend to avoid them at all costs. They’re manipulative and may even convince you they already answered your question. They may also dodge your question entirely by feigning offense to the question. Liars will also manipulate you in whatever ways necessary to always stay one step ahead.
  • They over-compensate with eye contact. While most liars would avoid eye contact, pathological liars will go out of their way to maintain deep eye contact in order to appear more convincing. Sometimes, a pathological liar’s pupils will dilate as they lie.
  • They seem overly laid back. Generally when someone lies, they may be fidgety and anxious. But when a pathological liar speaks, even if repeating someone’s story you heard earlier that day, they seem laid back and not at all concerned about getting caught.
  • Their pitch changes and their smile is insincere. Depending on the person, a pathological liar’s voice may get higher or lower when they are being dishonest. They could also be overly thirsty and require water while lying, as the stress from lying causes adrenaline to constrict the vocal chords. A pathological liar also smiles differently from a truthful person. When someone is genuinely happy, a person smiles with their whole face; their eyes crinkle and the corners of their mouth stretch. But a liar only smiles with their mouth.
  • They may have a history of other problematic habits. A history of substance abuse, eating disorders, anger, etc. may be good indicators that a person has the capacity to be a pathological liar.
  • They’re delusional. Pathological liars live in their own world. They believe parts of their lies are true and tend to exaggerate the importance of basic occurrences.
  • They aren’t good at relationships. Not surprisingly, pathological liars have unstable relationships, both romantic and professional. Typically a pathological liar is estranged from their family, too.
  • They jump from job to job. Pathological liars tend to have lengthy resumes. Their jobs are short-term because they tend to burn bridges with employers and coworkers alike.

Handle a pathological liar properly for the better of you.

Once you’ve identified someone in your life as a pathological liar, you may want to confront them about it. It’s important to know how to do that properly to avoid any issues.

  1. First, be as empathetic as possible. As frustrating as it may be to deal with someone who lies nonstop, try to remember there may be a reason. More so, they believe what they’re saying, so there will definitely be backlash if you confront them.
  2. If you and the person lying are friends, be sure to remind them how much you care. Help them practice the truth bit by bit and remind them you are always willing to help.[4]
  3. You may want to suggest therapy, but expect them to be very defensive. Telling someone they might want to get help comes from compassion but can feel very hurtful. It may be smart to talk about your own insecurities and share how you’ve found help through talking to people in the past.
  4. Tell the person you don’t deserve to be lied to. Be kind but firm when reminding the person it makes you feel disrespected and hurt to be lied to.
  5. Determine if the person is too toxic to stay in your life.[5] It may make you feel bad for weeding someone out of your life, but sometimes it’s necessary. Pathological liars can overcome their lying ways, but it’s a long road. You don’t have to feel guilty if you choose you aren’t willing to wait out.

Featured photo credit: stocksnap.io via stocksnap.io

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Why People Who Lie All the Times Are Mentally Sick appeared first on Lifehack.

Why Listen to Reply Instead of Understand Is the Key to Failure

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/b1E6qqXOLAk/the-purpose-listening-understand-not-reply

The key to success in any relationship is good communication, but most of us are not taught the fine art of really listening to another person. Taking the advice to listen to understand instead of to reply is very important in relationships with coworkers, partners, parents, and anyone else in your life.

How Most People Listen Isn’t Really Listening

Listening to reply is the standard way that most people communicate. What that means is that instead of really paying attention to what the other person is saying, you are already thinking about what you want to say in response.

Of course it’s great to have a well-thought-out reply, but if you’re thinking about what you want to say instead of hearing what the other person is saying, you aren’t really listening and communicating well.

You may be getting your point across — or not, if the other person listens the same way you do — but you’re not having a meaningful interaction with the other person.

What “Listening to Understand” Looks Like

Instead of thinking about what you want to say while the other person is talking, really listen to them. The experts call this “active listening”, and there are a few different components:

  • Pay attention. When someone is talking to you, look at them. Notice their eye contact and body language. Take in their tone of voice as well as what they are actually saying. Really listen.
  • Listen with your body. Turn toward the person who is talking, lean in, and make them feel listened to because you really are listening. Make eye contact, smile, nod, and make leading noises (“Uh-huh”, “Really?”, “Go on”, etc.) when appropriate.
  • Don’t interrupt. The best way to make someone feel like they are not being heard is to interrupt or talk on top of them. Listen fully and wait until they are done to ask questions or add your thoughts.
  • Repeat what they said. Don’t just say what you were planning to say. Show that you have heard what they said by repeating back to them a summary of what you heard when appropriate before adding your own opinions.
  • Respond to what they said. Be honest and respectful in your responses, and remember to talk — and listen — in the ways that you would want to be talked or listened to.

How to Practice Better Listening

Becoming a more active listener really does take practice, so how do you learn to listen to understand instead of to merely reply? First, understand that you won’t be perfect at this overnight, or maybe ever, but you can start working on better listening today and keep trying every day to put these ideals into practice.

Start by putting down your phone whenever someone is talking to you.

Turn to them, look them in the eyes, and really listen to what they are saying. Don’t assume you know what they want to talk to you about so you don’t really have to pay attention. This is especially important with the kids in your life, because more than anyone else they need to know that you think they are important.

Respond by repeating before commenting.

This classic therapy move really does make people feel heard and understood, and there are times when it can really save your bacon, like when you’re talking to your boss and you don’t fully understand what he/she wants. This is a good trick to use with anyone in any situation.

Try not to judge.

The hardest part of all in active listening is not being judgmental or jumping to conclusions. When you’re really listening, you need to try to withhold personal thoughts and feelings unless they are requested. Unless they specifically ask for advice, don’t give it. Some people really just want to be heard; they don’t want you to try to fix things. Most of all don’t assume you know more about a situation than the person speaking. “Mansplaining” – or talking down to someone – is never a good idea.

Learning better listening skills is a process, but it’s well worth it because people around you will feel more supported and understood and will definitely like you more as you communicate better with them.

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

The post Why Listen to Reply Instead of Understand Is the Key to Failure appeared first on Lifehack.

Dot Com Lunch – The Importance of Networking & Mentorship

Posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnChowDotCom/~3/oF-4nNV8zgI/

On this episode of the Dot Com Lunch, I take a trip to the residence of the head of Sally’s new school for a meet the parents reception. The reception really illustrates the power of networking. While I talk about networking, Bobby talks about the importance of mentorship and how it impacted his life.

Anyone is welcome to join us for the Dot Com Lunch. Follow us at our Dot Com Lifestyle meetup page to find the time and location of the next event.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

Here Are 30+ Easy High Fibre Breakfast Ideas You Can Try At Home

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/iGU8JlSyAKI/here-are-30-easy-high-fibre-breakfast-ideas-you-can-try-home

In the everyday hustle and bustle of life, it is not easy to recognize subtle changes manifesting in the body. When something is not quite right,the body sends out warning signs of discomfort. We tend too dismiss these signs quicker than the 6am alarm and get some quick fix medication without dealing with the root of the problem

Scientific evidence [1] clearly points out the root most health issues are poor diet habits leading nutritional deficiencies.

These problems build up gradually and may not be easy to notice. The best way to tell if your diet is in good tact is by being on the lookout for the main warning signs of a poor diet .

A proper high fibre breakfast will prevent diabetes, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticulosis, heart disease, colon cancer and hemorrhoids. Good food essentially amounts to maintaining good health. Consume more oats,brown rice seeds,greens and nuts.

Signs That You Are Not Eating Enough Fibre.

Do you feel like you are carrying huge baggage in your stomach?

When you visit the loo less than three times a week for bowel movements you are most probably constipated. Constipation is caused by a lack of insoluble fibre in your daily diet. The best way to remedy this is adding more wholewheat bread, seeds, brown rice and fruits into your meals.

Are you starting to gain weight?

Vegetables high in fibre usually make you chew for a longer time and fills you up, decreasing food intake. Try skipping french fries and rather opt for lentils or steamed broccoli that has high fibre content

Are you always feeling hungry?

Snacks that are highly processed will leave you unsatisfied. Foods low in fibre leave you with hungry pangs much sooner than a high fibre meal. Try adding legumes to your salad or sprinkle some flax seed into your oatmeal. Both are great soluble fibre sources .

Try nutritious and health snacks rather than indulging in processed junk.

  • A snack rich in vitamin A, like sweet potato chips cooked in olive oil.
  • A snack rich in vitamins A, C and K, like Kale leave chips drizzled in olive oil.
  • A surprising antioxidant and fibre source is a bowl of popcorn.

Do you have a high cholesterol condition?

Fibre can reduce your hunger pangs, it also lower cholesterol levels. Soluble fiber combines with small intestine cholesterol, keeping it away from the blood stream.

Do You Have high blood sugar?

Fibre is known to delay the sugar absorption of sugars into the blood stream. This makes the blood sugar levels rise at a slower pace .

Does your digestion hurt?

When you begin to develop irritation and pain in your larger intestine lining due to an inflamed pouch, it is a diverticulitis condition that is correlated with a diet low in fibre . In more severe cases, diverticulitis can cause vomiting, diarrhea, fever and bloating.

Here we offer you some easy, quick and high fibre content breakfast for you to try!

Sweet morning delicacies

Boxed cereals , even if they may be labeled as healthy usually have refined flour,artificial colors, corn syrup and sugar. The health dangers that lurk in processed cereal is the same as those in a can of soda.

Let us start each day with a boost of high fibre breakfasts.

1. Chia Seeds and Oats

Chia seeds are the super seeds keeping the body hydrated and improving overall endurance. Wake up to a breakfast leaving you fueled with healthy fats, fiber and calcium.

2. Seeds with Peanut butter on Toast

A daily dose of breakfast fibre is easy to prepare with a sprinkle of flax and chia seeds. Your morning will launch with a jump-start digestion together with B-vitamins, fatty acids and calcium. It will ensure bone ,blood, as well as heart health.

3. Overnight Vanilla Oats

Figs,two fresh fruit, and some dates with vanilla oatmeal soaked overnight, gets together a naturally sweet bowl full of fibre, calcium, potassium and antioxidants.

4. Strawberry and Chocolate Kale

Some sprinkled cocoa together with the vitamin-rich fibre rich leafy green, Kale, in rolled oats, sliced fruit and nut butter makes an intriguing breakfast.

5. Oatmeal and Banana

Oatmeal together with fiber rich bananas and walnuts to fill you up is packed with protein and fibre keeping energy intact right through the usual mid-morning down slide.

6. Brown Rice Breakfast

Brown rice does not need to be limited to lunch and dinner menus! The nutty, fiber- filled grain makes a delectable breakfast . Add some maple syrup in a mix of apple chunks and dates, spiced with cinnamon for a gluten-free healthy morning boost.

7. Quinoa and Strawberry Parfait

Quinoa seeds has an impressive fibre and protein profile. With alternate layers of seeds in cloudy pillows of Greek yogurt and a dash of walnuts, quench you morning hunger with a superfood heart-healthy meal to start your day.

8. Blueberries and Seeds

Raw blue berries with some almond milk , sunflower, flax,hemp and chia seeds leaves you with a gluten and dairy free morning mix loaded with nutritional goodness to kick-start the day

SAVOURY MORNING TREATS

9. Veggie Packed Burrito

A high fibre tortilla Burritos wrapped in your choice of veggies makes a a filling breakfast that is great tasting,nutritious ans easy to make.

10. Spinach and Tofu Quiche

A vegan breakfast recipe with dried tomatoes, spinach and tofu and is rich in fibre and boosts the immune system.

11. Lentil Savory

Lentils are rich in minerals , high fiber and a low GI making it an ideal breakfast. Packed with irons and B vitamins, lentils for breakfast are a healthy start to the day.

12. Chickpea Flour Pizza

Chickpea flour is a nutrition powerhouse, with fibre, plant protein and iron. Ground chickpeas pizza is a great base skipping the kneading, chilling an rising process. Top up with avocado and salsa for a gluten-free powerhouse of essential nutrients .

13. Breakfast Quesadilla

A breakfast Quesadilla is versatile with ingredients to suit preferences. A combination of spinach and white beans and white cheddar cheese make a rich power packed filling for any morning.

14. Avocado and Salmon Salad

Avocado with smoked salmon slices and some fibrous vegetable packs a healthy punch running past lunchtime.

15. Sweet Potato and Spinach

Spinach full of fibre and tomatoes, together with slow-digesting sweet potato carbohydrates is a great way to power through to lunchtime.

16. Savory Oatmeal

A savory oatmeal version includes a unique combination of feta and pine nuts together with the antioxidants and sweetness from figs.

17. Avocado and Chickpea Toast

Avocado toast is trendy on brunch menus these days. Add on , paprika chickpeas. It will add satisfying crunch, and generous portion of protein and fibre.

18. Hummus Wrap

High-fibre grains and greens make a nutritious wrap can proven to not only benefit but improves overall health.

19. Green Delicacies on Wholegrain

Chopped broccoli, chickpea with avocado cubes on wholegrain toast, muffins or pita is a perfect alternative to greasy fried eggs.

 Breakfast Power Smoothies

20. Blueberry Muffin Smoothie

A blueberry muffin drink will steer you out of morning grogginess . The lavender concoction is packed with high-quality antioxidants from the blueberries. Oats ans chia seeds add in the extra fibre.

21. Peanut Butter and Jelly Smoothie

A banana mixed in peanut butter spoonfuls enough with added oats and chia seeds too. The result is complex carbohydrates with fatty acids that guarantee satisfaction.

22. Pineapple Coconut Smoothie

Pineapple has effective important dietary coconut is filled wit fibre, vitamins E, C, and B as well as iron, selenium, calcium ,sodium, phosphorous and magnesium, making the combo a nutritious smoothie.

23. Raw Banana and Cacao

The smoothie is high in calcium fiber and protein, and will fill you up for hours. Plus a great excuse to get some chocolate with breakfast.

24. Kale Smoothie

This is a perfect way of serving the Kale with all its nutrient content and health benefits and nutrient content . Kale is filled with minerals and vitamins including vitamin C, A and K together with potassium, copper and iron. This high in fiber superfood stabilizes the blood sugar levels keeping the digestive tract smooth.

25. Strawberry and Orange Smoothie

This tropical smoothie tropical smoothie has a mixture Greek yogurt blended with coconut milk, orange juice and strawberries, it is low in calories and creamy smooth!

26. Kale,Acacia and Berry Smoothie

A combination of blueberries,banana and strawberries go a long way and you are left with a juicy ,sweet and delicious fruity flavour, enhanced with acai powder fading away the taste of kale.

27. Classic Green Monster Smoothie

Spinach in a mix of chia seeds,peanut butter is served up in a smoothie full of vitamins A, K and C, and K together with magnesium, fiber and calcium.

28. Strawberry and Banana Smoothie

Strawberry and -Banana with almond milk, chia seeds, and pumpkin seeds with cacao nibs, and flaked coconut make a perfect combo smoothie.

 29. Sage Pear Smoothie

Moringa is a special ingredient in the smoothie. Moringa is a plant with stress management and anti-aging benefits. It helps the body detoxify. With blend of hemp seeds, rich in Omega 3 and fatty acids, with a Vitamin E, this smoothie ensures a healthy body and clear mind .

30. Cherry Berry Ginger Smoothie

This is a recovery smoothie containing strawberries rich in anti oxidants. Kale, wheatgerm together with vitamin C eases pain makes it decrease muscle damage induced by exercise.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Here Are 30+ Easy High Fibre Breakfast Ideas You Can Try At Home appeared first on Lifehack.

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/NkRg-0HcrBQ/social-media-and-depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression appeared first on Lifehack.

Love Doesn't Come and Stay for Good. You Have to Learn These Communication Tricks

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/GVm78i-v1Ko/love-doesnt-come-and-stay-for-good-you-have-learn-these-communication-tricks

Have you ever caught yourself complaining about your romantic relationship to a friend. Ever heard yourself saying things like:

“He just never listens to me!”

“She doesn’t talk to me when she’s angry!”

“I just feel like we argue all the time.”

Guess what? You might need to develop your communication skills with your significant other.

Nobody Can Get Along with Another Person 100% of the Time

Spending a lot of time with another person increases the possibility that you two will not always agree with each other. Remember, that’s normal. Nobody can get along with another person 100% of the time. But these disagreements can easily turn into arguments if you don’t work on improving your communication skills.

All Relationship Problems Originate with Bad Communication Skills

Having good communication skills increase your chances of having a happy, fulfilling, and successful relationship.[1] If you both work together toward improving your communication skills, your relationship will begin to grow and develop in ways you didn’t think possible before. Remember, all relationship problems originate with bad communication skills.[2]

To get you started, let’s take a look at some of the most common communication pitfalls in relationships and tricks you can use to achieve improved communication skills.

4 Deadly Communication Pitfalls You Must Avoid

Letting your emotions take over.

When you get into a disagreement with your partner, it can be easy to let anger work its way into the conversation. Susan Heitler, PhD and couples psychologist, says, “The hotter you get, the more likely it is that you’ll race full speed ahead down the criticism and blame road.”[3]

How many times have one of your disagreements turned into you blaming them for something?

Using blaming language.

While talking to your partner, if you begin a statement with “you always”, it sets the conversation up for an argument and makes the listener think you don’t want to work as a team.[4] This is because your partner will automatically become defensive, expecting to be blamed for something.

Listening to respond instead of listening to understand.

If you find yourself thinking of how you’re going to respond to what your partner is saying, you’re far more likely to interrupt them. Interrupting your partner lets them know that you don’t really care about what they have to say. [5] And this obviously won’t end well.

Avoiding difficult conversations.

Maybe there’s a specific topic that the two of you can never discuss without an argument. You assume that the best thing to do is to avoid the difficult conversations, so you two avoid a heated discussion.

Only 4 Tricks Are Needed To Make A Change

Give yourself a brief moment of silence.

If you feel yourself getting angry or you catch yourself criticizing your partner, take a step back from the conversation. You need a moment to think and maybe even get away from your partner for a few minutes. If neither of you can calm down, consider having the conversation at a later date. Emotions do not allow for healthy communication skills.

Use “I” statements and “we” language instead.

Make your feeling or thoughts clear and present them in a non-critical way by using “I” statements.[6]

Saying something like “I feel” or “I worry” is much better than “you did X”. Also, remind your partner that you view your relationship as a team by using “we” language to be more inclusive.

Stop interrupting and be aware of the body language.

It’s more than that, though. It’s easy to wait for your turn to speak. Instead, try to really understand what they’re saying.

Paying attention to their body language and facial expressions can help you really understand the point that your partner is trying to make.[7]

Talk about everything. Literally.

Confront the awkward conversations and difficult topics. Having a healthy, long-term relationship means being able to deal with everything together, as a team.

The more of these uncomfortable discussions the two of you can have, the more confident and trusting you’ll feel in your relationship.[8]

In the end, working on improving your communication skills with your partner will give you a much healthier relationship. A relationship where the two of you can focus on growing as individuals and as a team.

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Love Doesn’t Come and Stay for Good. You Have to Learn These Communication Tricks appeared first on Lifehack.

Why You Need to Have Fun With Your Fears to Succeed

Posted from http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/why-you-need-to-have-fun-with-your-fears-to-succeed/

Do you know anyone who doesn’t experience fear on some level? You don’t because that is not possible, even if you think you might. Fear is part of our physiology and psychology and it is a natural reaction to real or perceived danger. You will never ever reach a point in life when you won’t feel fear anymore; because it is part of us on a very deep level, it is part of our survival.

As long as you live on this earth you will feel fear. If you are serious about being in the driver’s seat of your life and making a success of it, you absolutely have to adopt better strategies to manage it. If it looks like some people never get gripped by fear, it’s only because they direct their fears. They don’t let their fears direct them.

So do you want to know how to use your fears instead of your fears using you?  Tony Robbins said it best when he said that fear is never rewarded, but courage is.  And I’m guessing you like rewards right?  So my invitation to you is to start having fun with your fears instead, they are part of you.

Here is how you can own your fears in 3 steps:

Step 1: Fear in itself is not the problem

You need to understand this. Just like procrastination or anger for example, your body is simply telling you something. The problem actually comes in with how you deal with it. If you are courageous and you look at your fear, you will be rewarded. If you don’t, it will forever remain an obstacle until you choose to.  To do this, you need to take the emotion out of it and get strategic.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” – Henry Ford

Step 2: Check in with reality and look at your fear

So many people say, “I want to be successful, but I don’t know what is stopping me, so I’m going to give up.” What they are really saying is, “I want this great and amazing life, but I also want to stay in my comfort zone and have it come to me really easy.” Can you see the paradox here? This is why so many people stay in no man’s land. What I am saying is until you are ready and willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, you won’t change your life very much. If you want change, you have to change and if you want more, you have to be more.

Step 3: Come up with your game plan, your winning strategy

You are in the driver’s seat, this is your chance to have fun with this. It’s a good time now to remind yourself that you will attract the exact experiences you need to grow, and so most of the time, it is really in your best interest to move towards them strategically. Your biggest challenges are your biggest growth.

The golden rule in any decision making is to write it down, get it out of your head. And the decision you are making is “am I going to dance with this fear and win or not?” You want to get clear on the reward of following through with facing this fear. This is the real juice, so don’t skip this part. Right now, your mind has come up with reasons why you shouldn’t, you want to counteract that with double the reasons why you should.

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” – Napoleon Hill

What will it feel like when you surpass your fears and you are on the other side looking back? What will it mean to you? How will it change your life and the people around you? Who will you become by doing this? Really dig into why this is a MUST HAVE and why you should be excited to do this.

Now that you are juiced up and excited, you are ready to come up with a strategy. Write down what you are going to do to prepare for this or to feel better about taking this on. Come up with a game plan that will make you feel better. The more time you spend here, the easier it will be to move forward. The less time, the harder. Don’t forget that your environment might trigger the fear, but how you manage it is your choice.

Are you going to dance with your fears and make them fun or are you going to stay in the back seat struggling for success? Leave your thoughts below!

Signs of a Commitment Phobe and How to Deal with Him/Her

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/WFM9ag40xMk/commitment-phobe

This may be one of the most common of relationship woes. Many of us have been in this situation.

I remember a time when I was totally head over heels for someone. I imagined, whether rightly or wrongly, that I connected to them, and they connected to me on a level that seemed beyond communication – almost instinctive.

But over time, when I imagined that connection to grow, the connection to become stronger…nothing happened. The relationship, whatever it was, seemed to stall.

The answer, when revealed, was simple: She was a commitment phobe.

Sometimes Love Could Go Wrong

Love, when it works, when two people just click, is something indescribable. But when something is wrong, love can cause significant grief and stress.

Commitment phobia has been the ending of a great many relationships. With a commitment phobic partner, you may start to doubt every aspect of your relationship with them, and perhaps even yourself.

To avoid it, commitment phobia needs to be understood.

About Commitment Phobia

Interestingly, if someone has a commitment phobia, this phobia may affect other areas of their life. They may find it stressful if they are faced with having to decide on things that will affect them long term.

As such, this may mean that their reluctance to commit to you romantically may not stem from them not being fully invested, but it may be a genuine mental health condition[1].

Why are People Having Commitment Phobic?

In psychology, there are four different kinds of attachment a person may have with another. The idea of this is called attachment theory[2].

Normally, attachment theory is used to describe attachments formed in childhood, but can be applied for adults in romantic relationships. There are three forms of attachment that may explain a commitment phobic person’s thoughts and actions:

  1. Fearful Avoidant. Someone with a fearful/avoidant romantic connection may actually want a strong lasting relationship; however, they may have fears about the future of the relationship. Fearing that they will be hurt in the future may make them wary of fully committing.
  2. Dismissive Avoidant. Someone with this connection may dismiss their want or need for a romantic relationship, and may see no reason to form a lasting relationship. Drop ’em fast.
  3. Anxious preoccupied. Here a person may want a relationship, but out of insecurity may doubt your commitment to it, and think you may soon regret it.

As such, the issue might be way more than them wanting to keep their options open (or even keep the relationship open.) There might be an underlining psychological grounding for their reluctance to commit.

Spotting a Commitment Phobic Person

How can you tell who is or is not a commitment phobe?

Luckily there are signs that the person you’re with is afraid of commitment. Here are some:

  • They frequently quit jobs[3] and leave careers. Though this could be a sign that they aren’t satisfied with their job, it may also suggest that they generally avoid committing to something.
  • Similarly, it may be a red flag if you know that they have been in many brief relationships with no past commitment[4]) shown.
  • They may run far away from the mere suggestion of the “L” word, or even be uncomfortable defining the relationship at all. Doing so makes the relationship something more concrete in their minds. Not something easily left or broken.
  • They have trouble committing to attending events until close to the time.
  • They are generally unreliable, and unpredictable.
  • They avoid introducing you to their family or close friends. This, in a sense, shows that they are keeping you in a separate compartment of their personal life – a compartment easily abandoned with no affect to the others.

If these sound familiar, then you should be wary. However, if you are indeed in a relationship with someone who refuses to commit, what are the best courses of action (aside from simply leaving them)?

You Want a Commitment Phobe to Change

If, of course, their reluctance to commit stems from psychological issues, then the best way for them to heal is with a degree of therapy. However, that is a tricky, time consuming process, and requires them to actively want to change their behavior; this would be a wonderful and positive step – however, it cannot be guaranteed.

So, What Should You Do?

Firstly, it could be a good idea to slowly start a hard to get[5]approach; make yourself slightly less available to them. This is a very risky strategy; if they are truly commitment phobic, then this could lead to them drifting away, thus ending the relationship. However, as much as it could encourage them to drift away, it also may encourage them to work harder. If they truly want the relationship work, they will have to work for it.

Always Put Yourself in the First Place

Always – this goes above all – put your own interests and needs first. A relationship is between two people; it’s natural for two people to think and feel different things. If they’re causing you undue stress through their fears of commitment (which may also show that they are putting their own interests first anyway), then perhaps it might be worth considering if they are worth this stress and anxiety.

If they are, then keep on, and hope love makes things develop.

If you are unsure, then maybe give them a time limit. If the period of uncertainty isn’t over by a certain time, for example a month, then perhaps it was not to be.

This realization can be hard in and of itself.

In the end, the issue is a complicated one. Matters of the heart always are. But love, when it works, is worth it. It’s just not always as you expect it.

Reference

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post Signs of a Commitment Phobe and How to Deal with Him/Her appeared first on Lifehack.

How to Deal with People Who Can't Stop Getting Attention

Posted from http://feeds.lifehack.org/~r/LifeHack/~3/nKHeSPl-xnA/histrionic

Have you noticed how some people always want to be the center of attention? Whether at work or play, they behave in a way that makes them stand out from the crowd.

You meet these people regularly. “Mr. Outrageous” dresses and acts in such an eccentric way that heads turn when he walks down the street. “Ms. Flirty” oozes appeal that men can’t resist. Even women take notice of the way she moves and her sultry voice. But wait. Are these normal levels of attention seeking or something more?

Attention seeking individuals may be suffering from “Histrionic Personality Disorder.”

Even though you’re sure to be familiar with people who crave attention, you may not be aware that they could be suffering from a mental illness known as Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).[1] The American Psychiatric Association defines HPD as a personality disorder characterized by excessive attention-seeking behaviors and emotions.[2]

If the word “histrionic” is new to you, here’s how Merriam-Webster[3] defines it: Deliberately affected, overly dramatic or emotional, theatrical.

Think of reality TV participants. Frequently they display the traits listed above. In most cases it’s obvious that the participants are huge attention seekers.

How to Identify People with Histrionic Personality Disorder

Let’s now look at how to quickly spot people with HPD. They’re likely to display some or all of the symptoms below:

  • Intense, unstable emotions
  • Inappropriately flirtatious or seductive behavior
  • Constant need for reassurance and approval
  • Easily bored by routine
  • Overly concerned with physical appearance
  • Problems maintaining relationships
  • Uncomfortable in situations where they fail to be the center of attention

It’s important to be clear that we can all suffer from the above symptoms from time to time. However, individuals suffering from HPD are prone to exhibiting the symptoms incessantly.

The Cause of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Mental health studies have revealed some of the likely causes of HPD:

  • Brain wiring response to early developmental trauma caused by neglect
  • Genetical inheritance
  • Environmental factors such as lack of criticism while growing up

Why Recognizing Histrionic Personality Disorder Is Important

Whether they are colleagues, friends, or loved ones, it’s critical that you recognize someone suffering from HPD. In doing so you’ll be able to help your relationship with them – making both your lives happier.

As an example, let’s imagine that your boss suffers from HPD. He or she has terrible mood swings and the annoying trait of making small errors on your part seem like major disasters. They also lack the ability to focus on their daily duties, so often hand over their work for you to handle. If you didn’t know that he or she suffered from HPD you’d likely be driven crazy by your boss! However, once you become aware of a personality disorder you can learn how to adjust and cope with the strange behaviors.

Top Five Ways to Deal with Histrionic Personality Disorder Sufferers

You’ve now learned what HPD is and how to recognize it. Let’s conclude this article by looking at the five best ways of coping with people suffering from HPD:

  1. Stay calm when interacting with them. HPD sufferers can easily become agitated. By being calm around them you’ll help to de-escalate any over-the-top behaviors or emotions.
  2. Keep your distance. Whether sitting or standing it’s important to keep a reasonable distance (e.g., 3 or 4 feet) from HPD sufferers. This is because HPD sufferers typically have a hard time understanding boundaries. If you get too close they may act inappropriately towards you.
  3. Question their behavior. For this method to be successful, you must only question their behaviors in a gentle, friendly manner. For instance, if you feel their outlandish clothes are unsuitable for a serious event such as a funeral, this is a good time to ask them questions. You could word it this way: “Your clothes are amazing, but don’t you think something a little plainer would be more suitable for the funeral?”
  4. Recommend they take up meditation or yoga. Meditation and yoga are known for relieving stress and inducing calmness. These are positive traits that can be especially beneficial to a HPD sufferer. If you already practice meditation or yoga, then why not ask the HPD sufferer to come along to a class?
  5. Suggest they seek treatment from a mental health therapist.[4] If interacting with a HPD sufferer is proving too much for you, then you should definitely suggest to them that they seek professional counseling. A qualified mental health therapist will be able to help the HPD sufferer to manage the symptoms. Excessive attention seeking can be a warning sign that someone is suffering from Histrionic Personality Disorder. By learning the symptoms associated with Histrionic Personality Disorder, you can quickly identify affected individuals. Once you become aware of someone suffering from this disorder you can take the recommended steps above to help both them and yourself.

Reference

[1] MSD Manuals: Histrionic Personality Disorder
[2] American Psychiatric Association: What are Personality Disorders?
[3] Merriam-Webster: Histrionic
[4] Good Therapy: Find the Right Therapist

function footnote_expand_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).show(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“-“); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container() { jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).hide(); jQuery(“#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button”).text(“+”); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container() { if (jQuery(“#footnote_references_container”).is(“:hidden”)) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container(); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery(“#” + p_str_TargetID); if(l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery(‘html, body’).animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top – window.innerHeight/2 }, 1000); } }

The post How to Deal with People Who Can’t Stop Getting Attention appeared first on Lifehack.